You Need to Date! Uhmm, No.
People are always up in my business about being single. Most believe I shouldn’t be so I should go on dates…like this weekend, I should go out on a date.
Here’s the truth, I’ve never gone out on a date — well, not to any I knew was a date at the time.
When I was younger and dating around was the most common thing to do, my friends always told me that whenever they arranged something for me, they were very careful to not let me know. It was important that I didn’t know because they knew I wouldn’t be up to it — unless it was with Darren Hayes or Wentworth Miller (do you see here how it could never work?).
Also, in those rare occasions that guys took me out to dinner or whatnot, I never thought those were dates. I was the type that needed to be told directly that the activity was a date, and not one of those guys invited me to a “date.” If I had known, I wouldn’t have gone because I believe you go out on a date with someone if you actually like that person “that way.” I surely didn’t like any of those guys I supposedly went out on a date with — I hung out with them thinking they needed a fun friend.
Anyway, back to the life advice so many people are giving me that is to go out and date. Some are just so proactive about it; my mom’s BFF who’s here visiting from Guam recommended speed dating to me in front of my ultra-conservative father. I was mortified.
“Come with me,” she excitedly invited.
“That’s not my thing,” I told TC, my mom’s amiga, before glaring at my mother for having a massive buttinski for a best friend.
TC’s eyes grew big, “Why not? It’s so much fun, give it a try. Do you know Tinder? How about giving that a try?”
Here’s something you need to know about TC — she recently got divorced. At 64, she divorced her husband of 40+ years; both of them are dating around now.
I don’t have anything against dating — I’m just not comfortable with it. I wasn’t comfortable with it then, and I’m not comfortable with it now. If I don’t recommend it, it’s because of that, and how I’ve become fiercely practical when it came to relationships.
Also, I’m not lonely even if I’m alone, and I do go on “dates” — sort of — with my girlfriends. I dress up nicely but there’s definitely none of those hair-twirling, and smiling charmingly that I see girls out on a date with their boos do.
I know dates can be fun — I’ve third-wheeled on so many and had a blast. I just hope people will stop telling me that I need to date. It’s not a need — it really isn’t, for this girl, at least.