Vocabulary: WhiteMoaning

WhiteMoaning is the barely discernible sound before the violence begins. Astute humyns can anticipate its occurrence and prepare thunderous clapbacks if they have catalogued the endless litany of micro-aggressions Whypipo inflict on the daily.

WhiteMoaning is audible at any decibel level to the humyn ear. Humyns can hear the vibration of blood banging against the capillaries under the surface of a Whywoman’s cheeks or the creaking contraction of the ever ready tear duct as it urges that first saline drop to plop when something or someone Black happens. To be in their path. Breathing. Joying. Laughing. Twerking. Baby cuddling. Lover’ing. Blackly. And most especially during aggressive Black joy on Black loving. Publically or privately, nothing sets a Whywoman to WhiteMoan like Black loving on Black joy.

The above instances were gender specific to Whywomen because the nature of a Whywoman is reminiscent of the Catholic Church circa 1642 when Galileo asserted that the Earth was round. Like the Catholic Church of 1640's, Whywomen believe the Sun revolves around their very specific individual flat asses. And unlike the Catholic Church of 1640's, they will not let Black on Black Sweet Blackity Black Berry Joy Joy Solidarity Lovey Dove go quietly with fever and heart palpitations receiving visitors until the end. They will proceed directly for the neck when corrected, as any correct Black Love Action is an attack. (Which insinuates something about their intelligence.)

Furthermore, the above incidences were gender specific because in the middle of one night, P Diddy sat upright and said “Some thing is not right. And afraid of a disaster Diddy tweeted fast and faster. “Shout out to Black women just because…” And somewhere in the world, A little Black girl named Madeline has just suffered some egregious attack and was rushed to the hospital, because the other 11 little Black girls in an old house in Paris that was covered with vines checked their cell phones, saw Diddy’s tweet and urged her to take her pain seriously and get checked out.

This , of course, was unknown to countless Whywomen. And since it was not about them, it was bad. And since it was a Black joy on Black love crime, it was outrageously worse. That imperceptible (to non-humyns) WhiteMoan commended. The eyes rolled. The mean smile twitched. The pert chin lifted. And sensing this, the Huemyns all over the Twitter prepared their terrible roars and sharpened their terrible teeth. For surely, Becky’s French manicure talons had gone rigid over the her keyboard and she was ready to explosively WhiteWoman all over the Twitter.

When the clapback magnificently resounded, the WhiteMoan whimpered and wept. All those Beckys who were shut down by the responses can be found rocking back and forth petulantly humming factually incorrect Indigo Girls songs and muttering inaudibly (to non-humyns)

“How long ’til my soul gets it right
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light
I call on the resting soul of Galileo king of night vision
King of insight
I’m not making a joke
You know me I take everything so seriously
If we wait for the time ’til all souls get it right
Then at least I know there’ll be no nuclear annihilation in my life time
I’m still not right”

This is the most severe form of WhiteMoaning. It is designed to force the clapbacker into a seething miasma of guilt. It’s sole function is to halt and disrupt progress. This type of WhiteMoaning then becomes a test for the humyn. Can they cast off their conditioning. Can they deny the urge to immediately provide care and solace?

See Tadpoling for applications of WhiteMoaning which are gender specific to males.

The author thanks to MaryEllen for seeing it.

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