Cold Turkey
Every year in Miami, my family gets together. We gather around the Thanksgiving table, tell stories, and feast. Some of us tell the same stories every year, and the feast — well — Let me tell you about it. We have callaloo, rice and peas, ginger beer, carrot juice, and mauby. We have turkey too, but we also have curry goat, oxtail, and baked mac-n-cheese. I tell you, there is magic happening in that kitchen, and I love filling my belly with it. After dinner, we play this card game called Phase 10. We clear the table, the cards come out, and the gloves come off; but it’s all love. We laugh and we joke, we laugh until tears are coming down our faces. It’s straight foolishness every year.
There was the year my mother broke her tooth biting into a crab leg, the time my cousin, sister, and I had a dance off in the living room, the year my aunt refused to take a skip card while we were playing Phase 10 — she got way too serious — and the whole table died laughing because it isn’t that serious. I remember when I stopped going to the kids’ room to play after dinner and started going with the adults to the living room to watch the game. I remember bringing my first guy friend to dinner — he was American — and he loved the carrot juice. I am talking about island carrot juice. It is a delicious sweet drink. He had almost 6 glasses of it!
Growing up, I know I took advantage of this. Doing the same thing over and over every year with the same people. I don’t think I realized what we were building was a tradition and that one day, things would change. In 2007, I moved away to college, and every year, the ticket prices were too high and the break too short for me to fly back. Just like that, a staple in my life changed. No more, ginger beer, no more Phase 10 after dinner, and no more stories. After college, I thought I would get back on track getting home for the Thanksgiving holiday, but I didn’t. It was nearly impossible to get the time off work and after that, who knows what the reasons were, but there was always something. To be honest, every Thanksgiving since has been the equivalent of cold, unseasoned turkey. When I think back on that time, I do miss the food, but I have grown to appreciate the stories, the sharing, and the togetherness that Thanksgiving facilitates. The stories shared at that table were how I learned about my grandparents, my mother’s childhood, and even my own childhood. I miss it. I miss the togetherness. Life is marked with periods of transition and rarely do we know when they’re coming. But I am grateful for the memories.
The day after Thanksgiving, the turkey may be cold, but my heart is warm with the memories. There will come a time when memories are all we have.
Thanksgiving has always been about food, family, and us being together. A few years ago, I went back to Miami and spent Thanksgiving with my family like old times; it was wonderful to be there again with everyone, eat the food, hear the stories, and play Phase 10. Over the years, I have tried to play this same card game with other people, but it isn’t the same. Every year of life yields something different. This year, I will spend Thanksgiving in Phoenix. Who knows what will be the case next year. To tell the truth, I have no idea if I will ever have Thanksgiving with that same group of family members like that ever again. Life is constantly changing. Change is the only constant in our lives. So for those who are near the ones they love and even the ones they don’t, I say cherish the now. These are the good ole days. Store the treasure of togetherness in your heart. Whatever your tradition is, it’s yours. Pass it on to your children in recipe, story, or however you do it. Just be sure to pass it on.
Christine A.
