I am a Woman. You are a Trans Woman. And That Distinction Matters.

What you wrote here is deeply offensive to trans women and the reason why is simple….you think we aren’t women at all. Has it occurred to you that you aren’t the first person that has tried to tell us our place? Texas is trying to force us to pee with men even though men are much more likely to kill us or hurt us than they ever would you. That’s called — cis-privilege. Yes, it’s real.

You see, when I wanted to be called mom by my children or have some time with them on mothers day I was told I am not their mother. That doesn’t happen in a lesbian relationship. Both can be mother. That doesn’t happen when someone adopts a child. That woman can also be viewed as a mother. Yet when my child wanted to give me a mothers day card my ex, supported by 3 counselors, a lawyer, and a womans abuse shelter not because I had harmed my children in any way….but simply because they accepted me as a woman and that this made me their mother also, tried to take and keep my kids. Something which my children put a stop to by walking across town to my home. Do you know how that affects the children? Do you know how much that hurt me? That it kicked off a contentious 2 year contested divorce? Well, do you? I spend days every year crying because to this day my kids are afraid that calling me mom could trigger something horrible. Have you had to deal with this? Would any cisgender woman EVER? No. That’s called cis-privilege.

See, what you are missing here is yes, we get inundated with dick picks, raped, and killed just like other women….but we also have men that chase after us but won’t ever admit to it in front of their families and friends. That few men will risk the social stigma of loving us. That the vast majority of people would *never* even give us a chance.

You know the running joke….see a trans person and throw up.

So check your privilege, reconsider your tired trope of arguments, and come back to the table with a new discussion. Like how we can love and support all women.

If you think you can be our ally, you absolutely have to start by accepting who we are. If you can’t do that then don’t think of yourself as a good person because what you wrote tore away another little piece of our humanity. You want us to respect your needs, while you discount ours…no it doesn’t work that way.

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