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You Are Allowed

Photo by: Leda Carter

You are allowed to feel deliriously happy when it seems the rest of the world is going to shit.

You are allowed to feel suicidal when it seems everyone around you is happily sipping craft beers and Instagraming their joy at the Chicken Wings/Burger War/Beer of the World battle.

You are allowed to skip that tribal yoga class even though that one woman you kinda know on Facebook makes another post about how practicing everyday has “changed her life down to her cells”.

You are allowed to get two massages in one week and not feel like you are acting like a Kardashian.

You are allowed to actually tap in your power and own it.

You are allowed to freaking cry, cry, cry and feel sorry for yourself.

You are also allowed to not hold onto it once it’s moved on, even if you’ve always held onto it in the past and it’s what provides pain and aliveness and safety all at once.

You are allowed to be whomever you want to be, today. Not who you were 10 years ago, not who you were 10 days ago.

You are allowed to let things change in an instant.

You are allowed to have things drag on because sometimes, that’s just the the way it is. Lessons are learned when they are learned.

You are allowed to believe whatever the hell you want, what you’ve seen with your own two eyes, even if it goes against what is “proven”. Everything proven is unproven again, and truth is in the eye of the beholder.

You are allowed to set boundaries with people, call out abusers, give sometimes and take sometimes. You are allowed to call yourself out, too.

You are allowed to linger in the past. You are allowed to dream for the future. You also are allowed to have no fucking idea how to dream for the future, “energetically” get yourself into the space you want to be, and generally feel like a complete failure.

You are allowed to also see this isn’t your whole truth. That maybe you can’t dream or feel yourself in the future that you want, but that you know you are worth more than you have now. And that this is the stepping stone to what you want to see in your life (even if you have no f-ing clue what that is).

You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to not take things as hard as you used to. You are allowed to know that sadness will overtake you sometimes, that this will happen at moments for the rest of your life, and yet you know you will survive it, just as you have every time before.

You are allowed to take care of your mental well-being in any way you want, and in fact, FIGHT for it.

You are allowed to not fight for it.

You are allowed to be a wild woman and love all these shiny, broken, partially-sealed, and gaping open wound parts of yourself.

Because it is in loving ALL of yourself that you find your way to the freedom you are so desperately seeking.