Great article, and mirrors my own reaction to moving to NYC for the first time. After four years in college, than four years as an expat in India — I’ve been spoiled with readymade sets of friends (expat circles, and tightknit cohort of colleagues). But moving to NYC has suddenly launched me into the exhausting game of “well, I can’t for the next three weekends, but maybe sometime in March?” I recently invited 10 girlfriends — a mix of acquaintances and old college friends to the opening of my roommates lingerie shop. Just one showed up. I wasn’t surprised.
Nir Eyal, I enjoyed the analysis of the need for friendship — I subscribe to that philosophy, but I thought the article might be about how to forge friendships in a city where the most common response is “I can’t, but maybe in a month?” and where you feel you’re the only one putting out any effort to gather friends together. I know I thrive on forging deep relationships — but how do I find and maintain friendships in a place like New York? It’s a daunting task.