1/2/18 What is this feeling? A newly packaged form of Anxiety? Don’t mix supplements!
I got up a t 4:30 am today. Part of my new year, new me thang. To be honest the getting up part is easy. In Chicago I would wakeup at 5 anyways. Especially since I recently bought a S.A.D light that helps with seasonal affective disorder. As soon as I wake up I turn it on and I’m a new person. I get a lot of energy from that tiny little fucker.
I woke up and everything was great. I was productive. Then I decided to meditate. I started out with a small ten minute mediation session with my calm app.Everything was going well and then I switched over to headspace. No reason really, sometimes there is less dialogue. Before doing so I thought I would try out some new supplements I got recently.
Alpha Brain- Memory and Focus
New Mood- Daily Stress Formula ( advised to take at night)
I also had Charlotte’s Web Everyday Plus Hemp Oil
Now I have taken all three of these before and have undergone some miraculous benefits. However I took all three of them today and passed the fuck out.
It wasn’t a quick nap. I was down for almost three hours! I would wake up, try to move and but the weight of my body was too heavy to do so. I’ve experienced this feeling before in my life, when I was Christian. At the time I assumed it was a demon trying to possess me. Yeah… I know. Several books, and life experiences later I don’t believe that to be the case but it’s still physically taxing to come out of. I have no idea what this experience is, maybe I was waking up during REM or something and my body just wasn’t ready. Either way I fought it. I clenched my teeth and tried to roll out of it. I didn’t come out the victor, I fell back to sleep. I’m a very dramatic person, so it’s hard to tell when I’m serious. But seriously I was shook! I honestly thought maybe I was having some neurological mishap and it was my time to go.
I’m finally awake, obviously, but I can’t shake this feeling of nausea and a new form of anxiety. Triggered by something I know not of… unless it really is all the supplements? An intense feeling, complimented with nausea, and muscle aches. In some ways it feels like a bad trip, but unlike an overdose I can’t tap the shoulder of the marshmallow leader and have him fly me back to planet Earth in his ship shaped like a frog. So I’m stuck, temporarily, and I will embrace it with open arms. This too shall pass…I hope.