New Year, New Outlook.
The New Year is finally upon us, and I don’t know about you but, I feel a huge burden being lifted. Each memory I have that started with “my new year’s resolutions will be…” started with a blaze of excitement, and ended up in a huge dumpster fire with torched dreams. This year, I’m going to be 25, and I don’t want to go down that same path! So how do I make this year count? How do I accomplish this year’s goals? I can’t be sure but I’m pretty damn positive it starts by loving and taking care of myself!
I’m currently reading this book by Tara Brach called “Radical Acceptance.” I think I actually purchased the book towards the end of 2016. It wasn’t until the end of November that I decided to pick it up. I only bought it because I heard Tim Ferris speak about the change it brought to his life. When I interviewed comedian Giulia Rossi she also mentioned how not only that book, but Tara Brach’s teaching had transformed her life.
2017 was the year of paralysis for me. It didn’t feel like I was living, only going through the motions. I moved to New York in August 2016 on a whim, to pursue acting, comedy, and writing. When I finally arrived in New York I was so overwhelmed by trying to survive that I lost my way. Even when I did notice my attention being divided I was too preoccupied by self doubt and overly critical critiques of myself, and my work that I was unable to move forward. I picked up “Radical Acceptance” hoping it would bring peace into my life. Luckily for me, it did.
Through journaling, mediation, and this book I was able to discover the despicably low self esteem I had cultivated. I’m not sure if it was present throughout my entire life, but I do know that it began to change how I interacted with others, and how comfortable I was being alone with myself. 2017 was a never ending parade of terrible days filled with anxiety. Something as simple as watching my favorite tv show, or enjoying a meal was clouded by an uneasiness. It was mentally, emotionally, and most surprisingly physically draining. The way through is to radically accept who I am. The way through is to love myself unconditionally.
In Tara Brach’s book “Radical Acceptance” she talks about showing the same love you would show a child to yourself. When a child comes up to you, they don’t have to prove their worth in order to receive love. They are just loved! That’s how we should look at ourselves if we truly want to feel content with who we are, and to move forward.
That’s how I plan to accomplish my New Year’s Resolutions! While my resolutions are many, it does center around one theme. To become the most creative, happy, vibrant Christine yet. By truly loving myself, I’m able to listen to what my mind, body, and soul want without judgement. From this place of consciousness I will, and have been operating on a higher self. Ever sine shifting my intention to be happy, I have been able to better curate the life I want. SOOOOO of course I mentioned New Year’s Resolutions so I have to tell you mine. Before I do, I want to wish you a Happy New Year, and leave you with this little piece of information gold I came across a couple of days ago.
We are NEVER the same person from moment to moment. Our atoms are in constant flux! Leaving, and going and each time they come together they average out to create the same you, you were a moment before. Isn’t that beautiful?!?!?! We are always changing! If you are unhappy about anything in your life change it, because you have the power to do so!
- Write one blog post a day
- Do Standup once a week
- Learn to dance
- Improve my singing tone
- Workout Everyday
- Do Yoga Everyday
- Meditate Everyday
- Post a video on youtube every Wednesday and Friday
- Start The Artist’s Way Exercises
- Create my own Webseries
- Travel outside the United States
- Write a book of poems/songs
- Learn French
- Learn Spanish
- Build my New York Tribe
- Keep an anxiety journal
- Keep a journal tracking new experiences and new years resolutions
- Keep a fitness journal/mental health journal
- Learn to play guitar
- Keep a grateful journal
- Be happy, creative, and accepting of myself and others
- Pay back my Mom for helping me out during my first year in New York