Classpass Escapades: Piloxing (again) and shaking the little my momma gave me.

I have something exciting to report. Last night I participated in #Classpass #Piloxing for the second time. I know, I know, I told you all that it was invented by demons dancers and I’d never participate again… However, Jordan, one of my amazing bridesmaids, told me I had to suck it up and dance my ass off and punch the air real hard…or else. So I begrudgingly pulled my big-girl tight, black, exercise pants on, went to Piloxing and shook what my momma gave me (which, frankly, isn’t much.)

Here’s the exciting thing though: A good 35% of the time I didn’t feel like I was a drunk giraffe in the sea of chiseled rhino warriors! Hooray for being excited about below average performance! Yay, me! It was honestly exhilarating during the few moments in time where I wasn’t keenly aware of how awkward my body was moving. Instead, I found it easier than last time to semi-stay on beat and swing my hips (almost) the same direction as everyone else. There were still a few moments where I simply COULD NOT shuffle when I was supposed to shuffle and had to retort to my pitiful skip walk booty bopping trot. However, I still consider my 35% non-awkward feeling an incredible step forward in my exercising endeavors — and more importantly, highly deserving of a bowl of vegan ice-cream eaten later that night while I laid sprawled out on my living room floor.

Lastly, I will leave you with a tip which will save you lots of heartache if you ever try Piloxing: I know it’s tempting, but whatever you do, DO NOT drink a giant glass of freshly squeezed orange juice before Piloxing. Acid fruit + acid stomach = acid death belly feelings while you’re trying to get your sexy booty shake on. Every dragon fire punch sloshed my insides, further reminding me I was so, so, so not cool.

I think I’m going to give aerial yoga a spin next! What could go wrong? Right? Right? Right…