You make the classic error of assuming that the loudest voices represent the most people.

It's actually one of my main points that this is not the case, John. However, the loudest often tend to be the most influential and tend to dominate discourse.

Many liberals tolerate the focus on pronouns out of empathy and kindness...

If it was about that, the contemporary liberals would not be so "pushy" about it by expecting everyone to adhere to and recognize the constant invention of new pronouns and to aggressively agitate for rules in the workplace that everyone must use pronouns on their profiles and even for laws that penalize people for not using the proper pronouns of the month, either at work or when addressing someone you may not have even recognized as transgender off the bat... or whose preferred pronoun out of a currently available set of 1,000 you had no way of discerning until you got to know them.

It's also a typical attempt by liberals to control language and to push the ideology that sex is on a "spectrum" rather than a biological fact, this being due to their loathing of "heteronormativity.

This is not the same thing as respecting gender identity, which egalitarians fully do. But it's also about respecting the fact that actual transgender people are rare and that the majority should not be made or expected to adopt their way of thinking.

The best way to show transgender people respect and compassion is by treating them as human beings, respecting them as equals with the same rights as cis-gendered people (meaning equal rights, not entitlements), making reasonable attempts to accommodate them in everyday society, and to respect whatever pronouns they prefer when you meet them in person and get to know them as people.

Believe it or not, John, ten years ago doing that was sufficient, and it went a long way towards helping LGBT people in general gain equality and dignity in society, and by mostly doing it the right way. And it helped beat back the Extreme Right bigots who wanted to prevent that from happening, but getting them to fully tolerate transgender rights.

That is, until the emergence of the Extreme Left, who had to go for LGBT entitlement instead of simply settling for equality and respect. Which included showing openly blatant disrespect for cis-hetero people (who are the numerical majority) instead of going for mutual respect, which worked well for LGBTs prior to, say, 2013.

The wrong way to acquire widespread respect and compassion for them is by pushing their thought patterns on us and using them to try to control everyone else and attack "heteronormativity." That just creates a nasty backlash against them.

I know that is wrong, which is why I believe the backlash should be centered on liberals, not on transgender people themselves.

it's not actually that hard to ally with people who have been forced into the shadows,

And ten years ago, you were considered an ally by welcoming them out of the shadows by way of mutual respect and agitating for their equality. Not by shoving certain ideologies favoring them in everyone's face. And using that as a way to take control over language and the right to express opinion. That is not respecting them, it is using them.

There is a big difference, John, between rolling out the welcome mat (which I fully support) and rolling out the red carpet (which no group of people deserves).

often on threat of grave physical harm or death,

You mean like the nasty doxxing, censoring, demands for firing from jobs and criminal penalties, for those who do not roll out that red carpet? As well as certain attacks and threats of a more physical nature directed at cis-hetero people?

Turnabout is not fair play, John. It simply proves that no group of people behave well when power or entitlement is thrown into their hands.

The goal of the egalitarian is to remove disproportionate power from all groups of people... not to provide "recompense" for past power imbalances by inverting the previous imbalance.

Tyranny of an oppressive majority is indeed bad... but the tyranny of an oppressive minority is just as bad. Both lead to the same end result.

over personal characteristics they have little control over and EVERY right to exhibit.

Yes, every right to exhibit. But that, again, is not the same thing as shoving said characteristics in our face and demanding we adopt their way of thinking rather than simply accepting them as equals and displaying a mutual respect for each others' thinking.

Please keep in mind that cis-heteros likewise have no control over our feelings, and we too have every right to simply be who we are rather than adopt the characteristics of other groups. Respect and acceptance must go in both directions.