Decisions, Decisions, Desicions

Many times in life we are faced with decisions. Some are simpler than others, such as deciding where to eat, choosing what to wear or going to the movies. But are they all that easy? Of course not, deciding where to go to college or even whether or not to go to college are the ones that really impact us. Big decisions like these are the ones that shape our lives and that can be a scary thought.

Everyone seems to have their own “ritual” when faced with a difficult choice to make. Some ask friends and family for guidance, others might play laser tag. The list goes on and on.My point is everybody has a decision-making process and if you don’t, you need one.

Rituals play an important role in these situations because they act as a coping method. When we’re forced to make a decision, big or small, our minds tend to race. Like when you don’t know what to order and the waiter just stands there, staring at you blankly. The pressure can be heavy and overwhelming, which is scary when all you have to decide on is soup or salad. Now imagine the same feeling times 100!

A decision like moving away from home to pursue a dream can be easier said than done. Our minds start to race every time we think about it. We get hot, sweaty, flustered and confused. We start overthinking and over-analyzing everything and choose to see the worst possible outcome. A ritual helps keep us calm and see more clearly.

“Big decisions shape our lives, but how we get to our answer is just as important as the decision itself.”

Most of the time when we have a tough choice to make we will look to others for support or help. While it is important to have people there for you, in the end the choice should be yours alone. It’s not a survey, you can’t live your life based on other people’s decisions. It’s a lot of pressure for them and it’s not fair or healthy for you. Like I said before, big decisions shape our lives, but how we get to our answer is just as important as the decision itself.

The path to deciding is where we really learn about ourselves and what we actually want. Having someone else choose for us is easier but benefits us in no way. It takes time and patience to come to a conclusion but when you get there, you feel accomplished and independent.

How you arrive at your decision and what you decide is up to you. This also means everything falls on you if you’re wrong. I know that can be a scary thought but you have to be able to hold yourself accountable. To many times we blame others when something doesn’t go our way. When we make the choice ourselves we are the only person we can fault.

“The most selfish decisions we make can be the best for us.”

We can know what we want and still not be able to pull the trigger for ourselves. We’re either scared to choose wrong, fail or disappoint those close to us. Truth is there’s a 50/50 shot of making the right choice in every situation. If you do end up choosing wrong and fail, learn from it. Even when we fail, we grow. To often we care more about others than we do ourselves, which sacrifices our own happiness. At some point you have to be selfish. The most selfish decisions we make can be the best for us. You have to be able to put feelings for others aside and really think about what will benefit you. I’m not saying be an a-hole, just take care of yourself before worrying about others.

Making any type of decision can be troubling for a number of reasons. My advice is to believe in yourself. When you believe in yourself coming to an answer becomes easier and you feel more confident about your decision. Even if nobody supports you and thinks you’re wrong, in the end the choice is always yours.