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Musing on jealousy this morning, I see it obviously as having two participants. Each of whom, can effect each other’s experience dramatically or how when two unregulated needs collide; trouble starts.

The two needs I’ve seen in myself which took a while to conquer were my need to have my attractiveness validated by women and my need for emotional comfort and security to be dependent on others.

I believe these two energies, the former a reaching out, a need to be fed, a way I showed others how to manipulate me and the latter, a reliance on another to help me feel safe and secure, operate independently. …


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…with dignity and respect, knowing women are trying to do the same.

I woke up this morning with the urge to call one of my friends-with-benefits to ask her if she wanted to come over and climb up on my hard cock so I could watch her tits bounce and pull on her hair. After, I’d make her coffee and breakfast.

But it’s been a few years since I’ve had that in my life, plus I moved to the opposite coast, so I lay here wondering why life is so complicated. Why people hide so much from each other, wishing we all were a bit more together, afraid to be hurt by someone who is broken. …


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The Sadness of waking up alone.

MORNING WOOD

I woke up from a deep REM sleep this morning to a throbbing morning wood. It made me sad for how long its been now without a steady lover, over three years.

I remember earlier times awakened to the gristle throbbing urgency of it, yet the warm soft body of my woman lying next to me. How I’d drag my scruffy cheek across the side bulge of her breast as I slid by flat hand out over the expanse of her soft creamy belly, down over her mound to then lightly pat her there in rapid succession. …