I completely understand your frustration with the other people identifying you in certain ways. Growing up I was one of two mixed black males at my high school.
I’ve had one filipino guy tell me “Sometimes, I think I’m blacker than you!”.
He thought he was blacker than me because he wore Jordan’s and knew how to dance.
I was pissed, I told him he’d never understand what it was like to be at a store and get followed around by the employee because they think you’re stealing.
I was told buy a white guy that “You’re not a nigga,” and the funny thing is we were on a football team together. Growing up nobody taught me to respond to things with violence. I grew up in the suburbs so I never had to respond violently or angrily to things. I just froze up and got confused, I was already the only black male there with no support, I wasn’t sure what to do.
It wasn’t until I got much older that because I was black I was a victim of what to me is an ancient marketing scheme against black people. We are marketed to exist with in certain boxes and concepts, and if we exist outside of those ideas then others just get confused. What’s the media and our schools teach the population en masse is dangerous because it limits our ability to really be ourselves.
I feel your pain, and thanks for sharing your story. It’s really comforting to know I’m not the only one that has gone through it.