10 solid excuses for not giving your child the iPad

1. The iPad is dead. Let’s have a moment of silence for it.
2. The iPad is charging right now. Don’t touch it. You might get electrocuted.
3. The iPad doesn’t work when it’s sunny outside. Because the iPad is a vampire.
4. The iPad is sad. Let’s give it some space.
5. The iPad misses its mommy. *place the iPad near a computer and walk away*
6. The iPad won’t connect to the Internet. Bad iPad! Let’s send it to timeout.
7. The iPad is nocturnal. That means it sleeps during the day.
8. The iPad is cold. Let’s put it under this blanket.
9. The iPad is hot. Don’t touch it! You’ll burn yourself.
10. The iPad wants to play hide and seek. Would you like to count?