The fading glimmer

I had originally wanted to write this a week ago after my 14 hour bumpy bus ride from Udaipur to Jaisalmer. At the time I was being too negative and putting my energy into complaints. Now that I’m here where I had dreamed of for years I can’t look back, nor should I be complaining … nor do I want to go back!

My heart was telling me for so long to go, but my mind was too stuck to make a move. It’s funny how once you’re in it you realize that there was never a reason why not to go. You’re where you should be. In your rightful place with your heart as your leader. Once you take the leap you don’t go back. You just take a deep and full breath and go all in … Even deeper when the glimmer is fading and you’re truly out of your comfort zone — that’s the sweet spot I’ve found.

Balance is so important in life. We work hard to make money. Once we have this money what do we do with it? Finding balance is different for everyone. For me it was seeing that I had worked hard, saved, planned and then I needed to go out in the world to push my boundaries.

I spent 14 days in Rajasthan India. For many of those days I felt overwhelmed by this new world. I wasn’t as accepting or open minded as I thought I was. I wanted it to be like what I’m used to. I’m greatly disappointed in myself. I didn’t realize just how closed off and narrow minded I was.

I’m missing India very much right now, and part of that is because I want more time to allow this place to continue ripping me open … for the better.

If we don’t allow ourselves to be pushed out of our comfort zones we’ll never truly see who we are or who we could be. I will not go home exactly the same. No one could go to a place like India and go home unchanged. It’s a very magical country.

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