When someone asks you, “What do you want most in Life?,” what do you say?
Love, money, fame. For some of you, it’s God. But if you’re anything like me, my answer is simple: I want to be happy.
I hadn’t the slightest clue as to what happiness was or how to be happy, but I knew that it was supposed to feel good.
A desperate craving, a gaping void. You’ve heard the adage “be grateful for what you have” but for some odd reason, the cheap comparisons to third-world countries to guilt you into feeling gratitude doesn’t seem to inspire a grateful heart.
That state of bliss — it feels like a lifetime away. It feels like an exhibit where you can ‘look but don’t touch.’
An exhausting hope.
It’s tempting to get lost in your imagination of Reality in where you can lay idly under a clear night sky in complete and utter contentment.
At some point, what was once a peaceful daydream becomes a nagging reminder of how distant you really feel from being ‘happy.’
The good news: stepping into the heaven you imagine for your Self is easier than climbing the metaphorical stairway. It’s even easier than being a Christian.
Know that the World is Your Oyster
“Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want?” — Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)
You’ve seen what happiness is supposed to look like but what does happiness feel like to you?
Uncheck Your Terms and Conditions
In today’s capitalism, happiness is often associated to favorable circumstance and ‘stuff.’
- I’ll be happy once I get that job
- I’ll be happy when I’m rich
- I’ll be happy if he/she likes me back
We create conditions in which we hold our happiness hostage for heavy ransoms — freedom, money, and power — because discomfort is one motivation for that competitive fire inside you. After all, how can you be happy when everyone else seems to have Life all figured out?
Take Your Pick
By pinpointing our sources of happiness, only then are we able to see what is required to reach that particular state of accomplishment.
As easy as it is to choose to value sugar, spice, and everything nice, we can also choose to focus on transient, superficial experiences of happiness — gild, validation, and ego. And who’s to say that these are not ‘real’ happiness? I love me a quality product. It simply depends on how you define fulfillment.
Remember: It’s Your Life
Without an understanding of our own wants, needs, and desires, we lose our Self in the pitfall of living trapped — caged — within the idea of happiness for another. We have to ask our Self: where does my happiness come from?
We cannot fake the feeling of happiness. We cannot pretend to smile and laugh about what lights up our soul. We cannot lie about what brings joy to us. But we also cannot take a step towards our happiness until we know what happiness looks like for us. Or else, we wouldn’t know even if we’re on our way.
What does happiness look like for you?
Clean your Slate
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift — that’s why it’s called the present” — Bill Keane
You’re given the gift of a new day, everyday, to choose and define what your happiness entails. Every day is a new day to redefine what happiness is for you!
You’re called to ask your Self: What does happiness look like for me today? It’s in this choosing of what you would like to strive for today, what you would like to achieve today, what you would like to do today to feel happy — and to feel it more intensely — that allows you to real-ize your daydreams.
Understand that Today, Matters
Maybe happiness today isn’t working that dream job. Maybe happiness means a lazy Sunday and brunch in bed. It simply depends on how you see happiness today that matters — that is capable of ever mattering.
Through this you see that it’s the culmination of striving for the same goal — with consistent, conscious effort in choosing to step towards what brings us deep joy — that results in the stereotypical, visible symptoms of happiness and success.
What would make you happy today?
Embrace Your Walk of Faith
”Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” — Bruce Lee
Choosing the courage to walk your own paths really feels like a walk of faith. It’s like trying to see in the dark by feeling around.
In our diversity, you have your own intimate Life journey that will bring you to situations where the outside eye may not agree and understand the choices you make.
It takes confidence, resilience, and self-love to stay committed trusting your Self in knowing and leading towards your respective heaven. Not following through with what you choose to do, with what you resolve to do, creates mistrust in holding your Self accountable — proving your Self incapable of — in striving for the heaven you seek.
Live for Your Self
As much as you believe in your inherent value and infinite potential, you’re smart enough to recognize how much of the world is dependent upon reputation — the perception others’ have about Who You Are.
Although diversity keeps Life’s narratives new and interesting, it’s in this wide spectrum of possibility that difference reveals its double-edged nature. Among a humanity of several billion souls, it’s easy for your individual, internal voice to get drowned out by the noisy, yet well-intentioned opinions of others.
It’s tempting to follow the Life blueprint of those who you admire; to dedicate your Life as a living memory of another’s existence. This is purpose in it of itself but it’s only from a conscious decision to feel joy from a memorial existence in which you can experience the happiness of ‘doing whatever you want.’
You have to ask your Self: “Is this really want I want?”
Happiness isn’t the meaning of Life
Taking responsibility — taking ownership — for the well-being of your Self is the cross each one of us bears. Others can offer advice on what their salvation feels like but they will not hold themselves accountable for your happiness or misery.
You can create narratives for your Self that want to say that you’re unhappy. You can imagine perspectives that want to make you feel unhappy even when you have nothing particular to be unhappy about.
But what’s most important is that you’re granted the God-given right to pursue your own happiness.
It’s in this universal, unconditional freedom of will in which you can decide which steps to take, in which direction, at what pace, and with whom.
Make the decision to invest in your Self
Happiness is seen as this state of mind that you’re supposed to adopt before being able to reach a high level of success. And this isn’t wrong; only with a healthy, optimistic mindset can you maintain success in Life. But this creates the illusion that learning happiness is a prerequisite to finding purpose — a prerequisite to success — when really, finding happiness starts with a simple question to your Self:
What would you like to accomplish today?
It’s All about Perspective
With an increase in self-awareness and new medical knowledge discovered everyday, the average Lifespan for you and I isn’t getting any shorter.
For some of you, this is a dream come true — being given priceless, invaluable Time to live out your will on Earth, as it is in heaven.
For others, this human experience is an eternal torture — an existence of forever chasing the carrot on a string.
When you compare these two perspectives, you see that Life changes, for better or worse, through the choices you make and the actions you take.
Without an idea of what your happiness is, without a resolution to walk your path, you might as well get used to convincing yourself of your current state as happiness. Because nothing will change in choosing to neglect your Self.
So choose, to live a Life of self-love, to act towards a Life that brings you the most joy, to act towards a Life that makes you most happy, by accepting that you’re worthy of the very best in Life.
You deserve to be happy.
