What is True Love?

Love is what you decide love to be. It depends on your personality, your beliefs, and your experiences. You will learn what characteristics should make up a relationship, and you will use that to find your next one.

People experience different kinds of love in different kinds of relationships. Our media has mastered portrayals of romantic love and ideal relationships that us common folk admire and relate to. Many people haven’t experienced it at all, some are trying desperately to find it, some acquaint themselves with short term romances, and some devote themselves to the first person they feel such a connection with. Everyone enjoys the companionship of a romantic partner, whether temporary or permanent. Everyone has their own definition of what they believe love should be.

What does love look like? How do you know you’re in love?

It’s hard to say because it’s different for everyone. After reading this article, questioning past love, it reminded me of my first relationship. I thought I was in love with a boy in college. At the time, I thought I was truly in love with this person, that we would get married and be together forever. I was young and naive. I believed in soul mates and unconditional love, I put the relationship before myself because I thought it was sacred, I thought there was exactly one person out there who was the perfect match for you, like in the movies. I learned that he wasn’t that match and came to the conclusion that I never really loved him at all. It was just an infatuation with the idea of true love.

Even though it wasn’t the right kind of love, true love, however you’d like to refer to it, it was still a form of love. It was a learning experience, as all love will be. Of course, people like myself, we feel love for almost everyone, romantic or not. Others don’t feel love so easily. I now see that the love I felt for this person may have been romantic in the beginning but it ended rather quickly and instead became a relationship based on loyalty and belief. I believed in the love I saw on television, the love that was described in the Christian bible, and felt obligated to be loyal to it, no matter the consequence.

What to take away from your mistakes

I’ve since learned that just because you love someone doesn’t mean you were meant to be with this person forever. There’s no destiny that forces such a person in to your life. You meet someone, you might feel something for them, and then you choose whether they are worth keeping in your life. It’s never easy.

After that relationship ended, I had a series of small relationships or flings. I cared for most of them, I learned from all of them. I knew they were all going to be temporary, because all I was looking for was the short-term, no-strings attached companionship. I no longer felt the need to find a life long partner. I was perfectly happy with myself, by myself, and quite enjoyed dating if I ever felt lonely.

The best kind of love

Lo and behold, the most perfect man I never thought could exist walks in to my life. I never expected him to love me, nor expected anything from him at all, but I knew I would love him and that I would go along with whatever he believed our relationship could be as long as it kept me happy. Lucky for me, it turned out to be exactly what I wanted and more. I wasn’t looking for this love, this love found me. I put myself first this time, and it worked out marvelously.

It’s not going to work this way for everyone. I know people who have saught out and found this kind of love on dating apps, some people don’t care to find it at all. In my experience, every relationship you encounter teaches you about yourself. You’ll learn what you like, dislike, what you’re willing to put up with, your own personality characteristics that may have never come out otherwise. And if you’re looking for love, you’ll find it, because there’s millions of others looking for it, too.

Love is what you decide love to be. It depends on your personality, your beliefs, and your experiences. You will learn what characteristics should make up a relationship, and you will use that to find your next one.