Your Cheating Heart
When I first saw the ring I looked around for its owner so I don’t know who it belonged to but I do know it was owned by a male, I quickly slipped it into my pocket and waited around for a while but no one materialized asking about it. One year later I am once again marveling at this possession, it is made of stainless steel the two opposing designs look somewhat tribal connected by an uneven line that resembles a scratch, each time I look at it I have the same judgemental thought that for it to be blatantly left behind just smacks of disrespect and unconcern. Handling it today I was accidentally reminded of the night that I found out that I was betrayed, unbelievably there really was calm after that storm. Remembering back I really felt the words as I said I can not stand the sound of your voice I can not stand to look into your face I can not stand the sight of your body, and all these things you carelessly shared with strangers. Also I can not stand it when you say that you love me I can not stand it when you say that you just want me to be happy I can not stand it when you say that you didn’t mean to whatever, all these things I once believed you might as well carelessly share with strangers. Through counseling and journaling I have reconciled that infidelity in most cases is a justifiable sin that occurs by accident and most people don’t seek it out, if infidelity were a personality it would be an opportunist. Infidelity is a bullet squeezed through the barrel of unhappiness pulled by the trigger of desperation infidelity usually signifies the end, it is a symptom of a dying relationship and the final nail in a dead one. I have learned that if a union should survive infidelity the bed of justifiable sin is a cold one and the blanket of blame is a large one, to justify sin is to justify being human and that in and of itself is a justifiable sin. Forgiveness is a daily practice like meditation and yoga, one can only hope to one day be good at it.