An open letter to my closest friend

Dearest bestie,

Dude, I know I’ve sent you a bunch of personal notes, but this is for publication, okay 😀. I hope others can also learn the lessons I’ve learnt from you, and avoid the mistakes I’ve made — and hopefully learn, from you, how to be the best friend one can be ❤️.

I am writing this full of regret. Not happiness — though I always start to feel very happy whenever we chat. Not gratitude — though I am, of course, grateful for all the memories that we have made together. I regret a lot and I’ll tell you all about it.

First of all, I now realize that you have been reaching out to me since the beginning and been very kind to me. I was not interested in being your friend — my mind was set on some other people. I was rigid and I was so stupid for doing that. If I had became friends with you earlier, we would have been a lot closer now and I am sad that I rigidly focused on some others. This was due to a misguided belief that I had back then, that male-female friendships were impossible. I was really immature back then and I regret it; I wish we had become friends earlier, because you are so much more genuine of a friend than the people that I tried to be friends with back then. You always look out and care for your friends — they are so significant for you and I sure do appreciate that. Who knows how we could have been if I had taken this amazing opportunity beforehand!

Secondly, something else that I regret is that when we did become closer the next year, I took our friendship for granted and I didn’t make any effort on my part to maintain it. I, instead, focused on people that I wanted to hang out with because I thought that being friends with them would ensure a good social status for me. I forgot my criteria and I was only looking for people that would further my own desires, and not for genuine friends. I did not realize it until later on, but this lowered my own personal self-esteem so many times over. I was aiming to be well-liked, but in the end made me seem less genuine than if I had just “kept it real” and stuck to being friends with those — like you — who were already reaching out.

As you probably remember, I finally realized this after the “Instagram incident.” I started thinking, “Maybe I can reach out to people that have been trying to!” That was when I started visiting you guys — you know what I mean by this. (There isn’t a lot I can put here for privacy reasons.) I’d just hang around and chat, and it was really such a great experience. It would probably be for only ten minutes — 600 seconds — but in that short time, those 600 seconds a day, I had FUN. I was happy to be around you and your friends, and just chat. It was the most fulfilling thing ever.

But of course, inevitably, the world turns. Many things happened between May and August. Life changes, and soon after, face-to-face conversation — in the flesh — was an impossibility.

However, despite that factor, I have learnt — and am still learning — a lot from being your friend that I will keep with me throughout my whole life.

First of all, I learned that my friends don’t need to have common interests and shared personalities for a genuine friendship. Sure, having those things makes friendship a lot easier, but we are still such close friends because we value each other’s company — and we love chatting, it doesn’t have to be about our common interests! Yes, our personalities are very different — in fact, we have a 91% difference on the iPersonic spectrum! It’s insane, but you’re still my closest friend and I love you so much. We are there for each other whenever we need it, and I am so happy that you adopted me; being a part of your family is very fun and the most fulfilling.

Adding on to that, I’ve also learned not to be as rigid about socializing. I thought that you weren’t my type of friend, and because of this, I did not give you a social chance before. I was so wrong — you are now my closest friend and have always been good to me. If I “stuck to my guns” and looked for people that were like me, I would never have considered being your friend — and look at us now, we are awesome friends. I am glad that I learned this from you.

I also learned that I can be confident in myself. Thank you for always telling me that I am a good person and I should not be afraid to get to know more people. So many of my friends now, I have because I learned to go out and talk to people! It is hard for an introvert like me, but it is very fulfilling to have other friends as well.

Lastly, I’ve learned what I feel is the most important lesson I’ve learned from our friendship — that I should be confident in myself as a person. What helped me a lot with accepting who I am and not who I want to be was how you were always so happy to ask me about my personal interests — despite you not liking those topics, you made me realize that there were people, like you, that loved it when I was being myself more than when I was hiding behind a metaphysical “mask.”

You are seriously the most lovable and kindest person. I always feel that I am so lucky to have a friend like you, as you really are a rare find. I am so glad we reached out to each other! Though I have a lot of regrets, I know that the positives about our friendship will always outweigh all the negatives. We all have our ups and downs — even best friends — but true friends are there for each other and are always hoping for a positive outcome in the end. True friends have a bond as unique as the human fingerprint, and this bond may twist and bend, but it will never break. True friends love and trust each other. There is a reason why primordial humans developed friendships outside the familial unit. They relied on each other and decided to stop fighting for resources — rather, to share resources. Friendships were made between tribes, between societies, between cultures. Friendship got us all the societies we have today — it literally drove the human species to where we all are now.True friendship goes over the physical barriers and the human barriers. Mountains, distance, languages, and culture can’t stop a beautiful friendship! The friendship is a beautiful element of human culture. Blood may be thicker than water, but water can always be made more viscous with the right ingredients. This is the same for friendships. I am so glad that we used the right ingredients and that the two of us are continuing this! I am hoping that we will create more memories together! You’re the best and nothing will stop our friendship — let’s do this for life!

See you soon and I love you so so much,

xx “The Introverted Geographer”

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