Loop. Even if you know it or not, you are always in one. The tireless never ending sequence of things that somehow are just different enough to make us keep doing it, but not different to elicit a feeling of change within us. The people you talk to, the places you travel, the things you do, all of them define a part of your loop.
Most of us spend entire lives following this pattern, this loop that keeps us bounded to the same people, same things, same problems that pretend to grow up with us, pretending to be something else, masking the reality that is so monotonously mundane that it could leave one breathless. I dread the loop, I’m scared of it.
The momentary feeling of starting fresh, that we all have is quickly overshadowed by the never ending sequence of things all designed to make us stay within the loop. Soon enough, the satisfaction of dreaming of starting fresh starts to wear off and any ounce of adrenaline your body generates on the thoughts of peeking outside of the loop begins to stop. Adding the very possibility of an escape to the pattern of things that we do on a day-to-day basis to call ourselves alive.
As we grow older, as each day passes, the loop gets stronger, a re-affirmation to your mind that this is what you intend to do, the book you planned on reading, the exercise regime you planned for the 100th time, stay that way as a part of your loop. As the loop progresses, it comes back again to the point where it elicits a dream like state where you plan on starting over, making changes, picking a certain goal to complete. As the loop begins again, over and over, your mind slowly gets bored of that dream, and jumps on to another one, another reality demanding another set of goals, and so it continues. The loop manages to keep us engaged by changing the goal and soon enough the plan to change becomes a part of the loop.
Our daydreams, heavily influenced by our past, showcase an alternate reality, a reality outside of the loop that we created for ourselves. A loop that keeps us protected from trying something else, pursuing opportunities to sway the direction of our life that it is supposed to go in, if the loop is not broken. It keeps itself intact by making you eat the same foods, see the same films, live the same ignorance of the possibilities, to the point it gets so strong that you deny trying something new, to the point where you declare that life is just this. This endless pursuit of expecting something different by doing the same thing, fetishising, admiring the people who managed to break their loop. I think this is how a common man is made. A man with a loop so strong that even the possibility of dreaming of something outside it makes him go nuts.
It’s all not dark clouds and rain though, the instances where your mind wanders about passion, about something outside the loop, is a window of opportunity to break the chain, to escape from the loop. But this is a difficult thing to do, each time you try and exit the window, there appear a million different reasons to go right back in, each time you swoop back, it creates a stronger bond, a stronger reason not to step out again, and soon, before you know it, it becomes a part of your loop. Loop.