There are as many reasons for not getting married as there are for getting married. It depends on your perspective, and there is a right perspective and a wrong one. I got married at 25 to my lovely wife at 21 after two years of courtship. We are still happily married after 28 years and still have many disagreements and fights. However, the most significant difference is when we fight now, it is constructive. Constructive conflicts mean we give each other space and time to think about things and make the situation conducive for admission of faults not so that the other party wins but so that the relationship grows. If hurt was felt then repentance from the guilty party through self-admission is necessary while the suffering party gracefully accepts and forgive. Not easy since it is not natural and counter-intuitive in most cases. When we hear something, we don’t agree or worse still when our pride is at stake we defend like hell. Pride one of the most significant impediment to growth in a relationship since it prevents us from saying sorry and forgiving. Why should it be easy in the first place since love is so precious to humanity and it is the only thing that can and will bind two people together? Since when anything in life that is precious is cheap or easy to come by let alone something as valuable as love.
What kept us together is our decision to love and our willingness to make the sacrifices for one another. The joy is in the sacrifice, the joy is in the forgiveness and mercy, the joy is to overcome yourself to become more patient and understanding. These are the real treasures in life to attain and nurture if you don’t have them.
If you have the right perspective on love and marriage, it will change your behaviour, and a deeper understanding of relationships will liberate you. Good golf learns muscle memory through following specific technique or rules to play the game well. Marriage is the same; there are techniques and so-called “rules” you obey to become “good” at it. A golfer who doesn’t follow the rules of the game will never become a good golfer.
God bless and seek the truth about love.