Obviously I haven’t faced as much societal pressure as Freddie Mercury or David Bowie, but the lyrics speak to a scalable pressure we all face daily.

The Coffee?

It kept me up at my best. Or at least what felt like my best. My life was moving up and I didn’t see a drop. The anxiety was from was trying to impress my peers. My biggest stressor was having too many options. The fear was being too comfortable. The problem at night was getting too much sleep. That’s why it kept me up.

A month ago I met a homeless man named James that I met showed me the reality of this song, and it’s harsh. I’m not homeless but I am definitely in a low spot where I need to find the next chapter in my life. This song really hits all the generalities of where I am at, while also reminding me how much worse it could be.

What Happened?

Don’t let me fool you I am not homeless, hungry, or sick. All of those things are much more respectable than where I am. I quit school, a great opportunity, and three good jobs. So I have no right to complain and I won’t. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy about how life is now. My parents are the best, but that only makes me feel worse.

When I heard this song in Daredevil on Netflix it became an anthem for all the different things we all have to face in life. We all have many rivers to cross.

It’s Not That Bad

Imagine just getting good at what you do and becoming a part of what you love. Imagine making good money and having a decent career. Then imagine having the first part thrown away for you and throwing away the second on your own. Your parents now beg you to take $20 before you go anywhere “in case you get hungry”. It breaks my heart to think I broke their faith in me. I feel alone even with a home full of people and 567 Facebook “friends”.

Life has served me a few “Gold Dust” women. Not all of them were actually people. For me I imagine my own mistakes and closing doors on myself.

Okay, But You’re Still Alive!

I am still breathing. So all of that sad stuff will be in the prologue of my autobiography. Now is the four page intermission where I have an epiphany that kicks off chapter one of the rest of my life. Yes, if I have an autobiography it will not only have intermission sections it will need them. Clearly my writing gets tiresome to a reader.

To cap it off is one of my all time favorites. SRV speaks to making mistakes and trying to correct them later. I am on a mission to change the way I operate so I don’t fall off the tightrope again anytime soon.

Still Awake

It‘s keeping me up at my worst. Or at least what feels like my worst. My life just took a dive and I realized it really is a rollercoaster. The anxiety is from failing myself and those around me. My stress is not having any clear path. The fear is dying a lonely asshole. The problem at night is not sleeping at all. I use the coffee to kickstart my lazy ass to do something about it.

I find songs that assist the writing because it gives it more atmosphere. Words on a page tend to lay flat. It’s like a film with no score, it lacks presence and depth. Although it may speak to my lack of writing ability and my short attention span for reading.

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