2015: A Wrap-Up of Things

The year has come to an end. Now is the time for us to look back and reflect upon the past 365 days, as well as to look forward to the coming 365 days.

I hope that the past year had been a great one for all, and that 2016 will surpass 2015 by every standards.

To be honest though, 2015 sucked for me.
As far as I can remember, this has got to be one of the lousiest 365 days in recent years.

I remember thinking to myself in the past, if every year is only going to get better. Because we are always learning, always progressing, always getting better at living so it is only natural for us to “live better” each coming year and experience a better year each time.

No. I realized.

At the end of every year we celebrate yet the beginning of another 365 days full of hope and dreams, another 365 days worth of time for us to renew ourselves, to pursue our goals, and to try and achieve what we set out to achieve. It gives us the hope that, yes, every minute, every second, that we are living, is going to be better than what we have experienced in the past. It gives us the illusion that the best is yet to be, that our lives progress in a positive-gradient line or curve.

While we should definitely look ahead and believe that things are always going to be better in the future, I realized that this does not apply to the life that we have lived up till now. That the present year may not necessarily the best when compared to the previous ones.

And this past year just happened to be so.

The things that happened

Year 2 Semester 2.

Last semester to be staying in school. I remember trying to make full use of my remaining semester in CAPT. I remember it was a rough semester. I remember it was the last chance I gave myself to up my CAP to the next level. It didn’t work out. But it doesn’t matter now. It’s weird that even this semester seemed so far away thinking back now, and it’s really hard to recall much meaningful things from then, perhaps partly also because that so many things have happened since then and the most recent semester was vastly different from what things were like the.

Summer: Internship and Camps.

I learned something from waking up at 7 daily and travelling across half the island to work.

That it’s not something I want to be doing next time.
But anyway, it was, I guess, a pretty meaningful experience for me since I do not actually have any real working experience before this. Thankful for the opportunity and hopefully I will be able to contribute back in some ways in the future.

Camps were fun. Not as much as last year. But still great. Dropped by for Psych Camp too. I think there really isn’t much to elaborate on the camps here though.

Year 3 Semester 1.

A semester like no other. It was probably the slackest semester I have had so far. Yet the time I took out of studying does not seem to have gone into anywhere useful either. Probably a good amount of it went into MRT though, and the rest simply evaporated somehow. It was a semester where I felt kind of lost I guess. Since I somehow got lost soon after the semester started and never really found myself until perhaps when the semester was ending. I am still not really sure what exactly happened in the past few months. But well, I survived yet another semester, maintain my grades, and, the year is ending.

The past one month was messy too. Started out the holidays trying to work out a routine for myself in hope of accomplishing as much as possible out of this break before exchange. It worked, for a while. For a week or so. And my life is once again pretty much a disorganized mess now. Not for long hopefully. There isn’t a long time left before flying anyway.

The thing about people

People are forgetful. People can easily forget the good when they see the bad. This is something I still could not figure out, the complexity of human relationships and interactions. I cannot understand how people can let go of whatever happened in the past that was good, only focus on the bad that they perceive before their eyes, and allow it to affect their relationship with one another. Perhaps some things can never be the same once it’s been affected. But perhaps we can try to take a step back, view things from a wider angle and consider the consequences of various actions that we could have taken to make things better instead.

Maybe we can never satisfy everyone, no matter how hard we try. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t try. I often forget, and every time I do, I try to remind myself once more, that each of us has our own story, our own problems, our own way of thinking shaped by our different lives.

All the other things

2015 is not without its own merits though. In a “could-have-been-better” year, there are still good things for me to take away and learning points of note. In this year I took up a beginner hip-hop class, not sure if I will go anywhere with this but at least I tried something new. Internship has given me a lot, but the biggest takeaways came mostly from interacting with my boss, who taught me to dream big and go for it. I gained deeper insights on design after taking modules in it, through tons of reading, and managed to learn how to use Photoshop, InDesign and Illustrator. Although I stopped for a long, long while, I continued to read after finals and finally finished some books that I’ve started long ago. Started exercising a little since holidays started too, and hopefully will continue this healthy habit from now on. Throughout the year, I made some friends along the way, and got to know my friends better as well. And I am most glad for my family and friends who have been and will always be there for me.

Down the road, I am not sure what 2015 will mean to me.

Perhaps in few years’ time, 2015 will become just another forgettable year. Perhaps I would be glad instead for whatever that have happened in this past year. I will never know till then. But for now, let us rejoice the beginning of another 365 days that would allow us to continue chasing our dreams and live our lives to the fullest.

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