Beautiful story Margot! I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t remember what type of cancer she had, but cancer started from the stomach area.
Losing someone is probably the most painful life experience ever could have.
Physical pain usually goes away within a week, but emotions pain could last a long time. For me, it took me about two years to overcome grift.
I asked so many “WHY?” questions, why would god do this to me, why me, why doctors couldn’t fix her, why technologies haven’t advanced to cure damn cancer and more why’s. It was a never-ending loop.
Later on, I’ve noticed I was looking for someone to blame for the cause of her death. I guess I was looking for a justice.
Blaming someone didn’t serve me so I had to find a different way to peace within me.
Which was asking better questions, there is a bible verse said “ask and you shall receive” all this time I was asking lousy questions and in return, I got my lousy answers back.
It wasn’t about “Why”, it was “What”.
What did I learn from this experience?, Is it true she is gone completely out of your life? What could you do about this experience? and these three questions really helped me move forward and I was able to find Peace and accepted my mother death.