Hello, people call me many names depending on how I know you, but for this read, you can call me Kaipo. I work in the telecommunications field in beautiful Hawaii Nei. I make a decent living, I love my home and most people around me. I may not be the most energetic or emotional person you may know, but I’m a great person.
Today I want to talk about a girl that I once knew. A girl that I first met who was only the age of 16. A girl at the time who was one of a few that I was ‘talking’ too. At the young age of 19 I made a decision to settle down and just pick one girl because that ‘playa’ life was just not for me. The fact is, The more relationships you are in, the more drama you will have. I’m a simple man and try to avoid drama as much as possible. So I made a list of all the reasons why I liked this girl and others that I was talking to at the time. This list consisted things to the way they looked down to different personally traits. In the end, I picked this girl. My plan was to spend time with this girl, learn about her see if she was a good match and maybe spend the rest of my life with her.
“the more relationships you are in, the more drama you will have”
I spent lots of nights talking, chatting, texting, video chatting, myspacing, everything as much as possible to get to know her. We seemed good together. I can even over look her hand full of flaws because everything else is that much better. We have a lot in common with little difference, we go on adventures and plan on growing together. She slowly began to look like the one I could live with forever and then a year and a half later of knowing this girl, she promised me forever and we got married.
Even though we were young, we were determined to prove the static wrong on how a high percent of young marriages end in divorce. Like any couple, there was highs and lows but we always ended up working things out and making compromises. Overall, there were more highs then lows.
As we grew together, we taught one another different things and our goals became one in the same. The one thing I was proud of is how I helped her change her long term goals. When I met her, she wanted to have 4 kids and put her career second. As time went by, she changed that goal to 2 kids, then to 1 kid and only after school is completed. I was so focused to deliver her dream job to her, that I dropped out of school myself to work full time so we could afford her school and still live comfortably.
As our relationship went along, we’ve accomplished a lot together. we’ve purchased our first cars together, we got pets together, we even bought a house together. We invested a lot together. emotionally and financially. So much so, that even after her consistent kidney infections and how she told me that her doc had told her that her chances of having kids are very slim because of a abnormally shaped uterus, I still stood by her. I pledged a vowel to her, “In sickness and in health.” So I wasn't going anywhere.
“her chances of having kids are very slim because of a abnormally shaped uterus, I still stood by her.”
Our relationship seemed pretty solid. We’ve been together for over 10 years and married for 9 of those years. We were in the part of our marriage were we never really fought or argued about anything. We had established future plans. what could go wrong right?
Then one night on February 20th, 2016. The shit hits the fan. She didn't come home that night. A very unusual thing since she always comes home or at least calls to let me know everything is okay. I call her in the morning, she answers and shes okay. but very suspicious. she starts questioning our relationship. I start questioning her back. Find out shes been ‘talking’ to another guy. She doesn't want to deal with this new issue of hers so she says shes going to stay at her moms house and doesn’t plan on coming home again.
Sure she is. Shes known for telling little lies to other people. not to me normally, but this isn't a normal situation. Its 11pm Feb 21st. she should technically be sleeping at her moms place. I get a hint that she actually might be closer to home then she states. I take a drive around Kunia and load and behold her car is parked on the side of the street. I find her getting all cuddly with another guy in a near by vehicle. That moment was the death of the dream that I thought was going to last.
“That moment was the death of the dream that I thought was going to last.”
After that day, I didn't even know who that girl was anymore. I’ve been living with a stranger for the last 10 years. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be. I asked her why she decided to do what she did, what was wrong with what we had, and when did she give up on our marriage. I never got a real answer to my questions.
We always used to joke around with the term ‘ratchet.’ Its the new hip word the kids use to define ghetto slutty girls. She used to refer to her friend as a ratchet, the one who couldn't keep their pants on with different guys and how she herself would laugh at this friend because she said that marriage is just a ‘paper.’ I would have never thought I was the one living with a ratchet as well.
We are officially done. I’ve never seen anyone let a 10 year relationship go so easily. But its time to start over, Its going to be a chance to rebuild my life the way I’ve wanted all along. Sometimes, you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand back up taller than you ever were. I have accepted what it is, letting go of what it was, appreciate what still remains and look forward to whats to come next.
“Its going to be a chance to rebuild my life the way I’ve wanted all along.”
My name is Kaipo. My name in Hawaiian means sweetheart. One who is sweet and caring. I will live everyday likes its a special day because everybody deserves somebody who makes them look forward to tomorrow. Wishing you only the best.