An open letter to Reverend Anaglyph
I am Roger Tills, the Chairman of R&T LLC, of which 0bugzone and Cie Aura are subsidiaries. I am writing this open letter today to express my utmost displeasure at your relentless assault of our products and brands. As new research has arose supporting the theory that trivector electrochromodynamics fields are able to induce a electrotonus effect, we have decided to go through a rebrand in order to better serve the people and has henceforth applied to the most prestigious startup accelerators such as TechStar and Ycombinator. We urge you to keep your opinions to yourself and stop slandering what is the culmination of many years of research. The latest research supporting our claims was achieved via the foremost machine learning techniques and genetic algorithms, all of which are bleeding-edge fields that you could never even hope to comprehend.(If you claim to be so knowledgeable in this area, do explain to me what Deep-Learning and Recursive Neural Networks are.) We would appreciate it if you could retract your previous baseless accusations and refrain from further assaults on our products that have saved and improved our great race. We believe that everyone should have the freedom to express themselves but in this case we are really at the end of our metaphorical tether as you have antagonized us countless times. Even saints have a limit you know. Thus I hope and truly hope that you will stop being a bramble in our sides and join us for the betterment of the human race. We would be most glad to have you become a part of our magnificent course, especially someone like you who has a very strong scientific background, just like Sister Melissa Rogers, who would be most glad to discuss with you the intricacies of our universe. We are willing to offer advance stock options and equity as a token of goodwill.
May The Log Protect thee,
Roger B. Tiller,
Head Priest, Church of the Holy Log.
Managing Director, Centre for Metacognitive Research and Advancement of The Log, Lausanne.
DJ, Apple Music