I have always respected and learned a lot from many women in Drupal and I have tried to apply the Reacting to sexism post to IRC for many, many years. And I thought I am doing enough, I was proud of how much I was doing. How wrong I was.
When the Code Of Conduct old draft came up, I have rebelled against it because I felt it makes our DrupalCons “over-legislated” and that there’s no need to drag the topic of sexual assault into this because there’s a law against that. Again: how wrong I was. If you were one of the women I put down in that thread, please accept my apologies.
When the topic of renaming master/slave terminology came up, I bristled against, again, someone telling us what to do and what not do by saying “that’s not up for debate”. That they were fighting on behalf of what I felt were imagined people. It is bitterly ironic how I got caught up in the words used and not the intent behind them despite this is exactly what I was angry about when it was done to my words and intent. Again: I am sorry.
Now I have been reading all these “me too” stories, especially the Hungarian story of Lilla Sarosi speaking up against her abuser, Laszlo Marton the famous director and then six more women only dared to speak against him anonymously (!!) — how many more are there in the fifty years of Marton’s career who do not even dare to speak anonymously? And the reactions to this, oh god, the reactions to this. Beyond all the usual Facebook comments, another arrogant old white man, famous director whatnot going on national television declaring he always knew Marton a gentleman and some actresses’ butt you can grab and some you can’t. WAT.
Some say there is no place of “politics” in open source. Let’s make a deal: “politics” will disappear from Drupal when y’all stop groping women at Drupal events. It is a nice fantasy we are all just nicks in an issue queue contributing on an equal footing and harassers just loudmouthed online trolls who bark but do not bite — but this fantasy was shattered for me when I read about a leading community person actually groping women (and ashamedly I need to admit the timing with the other “me too” stories certainly added to the power of the blow and I am unsure of my reaction of such an allegation in the past). I wish it was shattered sooner but, alas, it wasn’t. Dear Reader: is yours shattered already?
Open source is made by people and you need to make them feel equal if you want that fantasy outlined above. We who have a louder voice in the community need to speak for those who do not dare to speak. I have never thought women will need to speak against IRL harassers in Drupal and even less that many won’t dare “because who would believe my tiny voice in the community versus his”?? Really? Is this what we are?? This fear of not taken seriously just because his abuser contributed a lot?? If so, then we have utterly failed in communicating in values we believe in. Or do we really believe in them??
As long as these things are not clear, someone needs to educate the community and the Drupal Diversity & Inclusion group took this role on. Maybe they could be a little more patient but faced with all those unshattered fantasies I described and all the deep set misogyny, they have an enormous, underappreciated, thankless but really badly necessary job.
Equally, as long as there is even a perception or even worse, a reality of us, past and present leaders not being a staunch, trustworthy ally, some third party needs to be able to take reports and take action. This is the Community Working Group. While we see differently on what their scope should be, in these issues there is no doubt the community needs someone like them. And even if they were much, much better communicating their intent, they would still be heavily criticized simply because so many can’t bear the thought women being equals. Especially these days when such views are elevated to such heights as the US Presidency, it’s truly commendable someone is willing to fight the good fight. We all owe them thanks.
Make no mistake: it is all of us not speaking louder and clearer who made both of them necessary. I am sorry for that.
But I won’t be talking because I am no longer there. Will you?
