The Violence of white Apologies
Before you apologize to your Black acquaintance, pause and reflect on a few things…
Many Black people will tell you that the past ten days constituted a whirlwind unlike any other. For many of us our phones rang (and continue to ring) off the hook, our DMs full of white people experiencing racial revelation.
The veil now torn, their eyes newly open to the reality of the world around them, they want to talk about it. They want to talk to a Black person about it.
For many white folks, this revelation is coupled with guilt and shame. As such, many Black people are experiencing an overwhelming influx of apologies. Particularly, long overdue apologies for past microaggressions, macroaggressions, and overt racism
Now, before I dive into my critique, let me be very clear, apologies are important. Incredibly important. For those on the other side of harm, apologies provide a space wherein the harmed person is seen and their pain is acknowledged. In a world that renders Black pain invisible, apologies, when done with self-reflexivity, can constitute a very important part of the healing process.
Yet, white America struggles greatly with apology because apology also comes with accountability.
