On 2013, the lessons I’ve learned and, most notably, the lessons I’ve not learned
Originally published on 31st December 2013. As we are nearing the end of 2014, I thought it would be good to reflect on what I’ve written on the subject.
I have always seen 13 as my lucky number so it was only proper that I welcomed 2013 as my lucky year. How farther from the truth that had been. This year as been the harshest for me on record and nothing comes close to it. Well, maybe 2012. But with all the lessons I have learned and, most notably, the ones I have not learned only ensured that my 2013 would crash and burn. Maybe this is how it ought to be. Maybe that’s the Chinese’ way of giving luck to the world the “’13 way”. Nevertheless, it’s a year worth remembering. And forgetting. Moving on from. And, most definitely, moving away from.
It is not that I am unthankful of this year. No. With all the cuts and bruises over old ones, the repeated slaps and insults, the pouring of salt over open wounds; I have these experiences to be thankful for because who’s stronger than a person who went through hell. It would be the person that went through hell twice.
Like most new years and with new year’s resolutions, one starts with a fresh list of priorities. Usually influenced by the pains of year’s prior, most of us crack our knuckles and say any or all of the following:
“Never again.”
“This time around…”
“Let’s do this.”
Off we went to our lists. But never reaching the ultimate finish. Year in and year out. Somebody has yet to invent an app that will make humans be leaps better at committing to and delivering these promises. As with thousands of others, I started off with a list. As with thousands of others, ask me about that list and I’ll just shake my head.
So. Here we are again. Ending a year and starting off with a new one. We become hopeful again. We become fresh. But then are we ending all these years better off? Great question. But, cheers to 2013 anyway!
To losing my digital clutter and loving it. I’ve deactivated several of my online accounts including one of my favorites, Path. The experience has been liberating and one of the things I actually did right. To starting over on a new blog platform, Posthaven. To setting up a Medium account earlier than most people… and not finding a good use of it until now.
To giving charity the flying finger. To making the decision of coping, tolerating and compromising with loved ones because it is worth it. Because, really, to hell with other people think. “Failure of your company is not failure in life. Failure in your relationships is.”
2013 was also a year of screw-ups, failures, let-downs and disappointments for me. To bombings in Iraq, riots in Venezuela, the Boston Marathon terrorism and the lessons we never learn as a society. To ignoring elections and not caring anymore. To celebrating 27 years of our freedom and still not putting it to good use as a people.
To realizing that, “…hardwork is overrated. Work smart, eat right, sleep enough.” Yet I wasn’t able to follow through on that premise. I’ve once fell in a deep sleep in a taxi cab on the way home that I actually dreamt! 16-hour workdays were the norm. To ruining plans of going on to surf trips at least three times in the year. Of wanting to start a venture, of trying a few ones and of not following through. To missing out on runs and not being as healthy and trim as what could have been achieved.
Of learning what moral hazard is in the context of the household and not applying its learnings at home. Of falling into the same pit again. Coincidentally, the same month from the previous year.
Fortunately, the year also brought some great insights that I would say has changed my perspective. To realizing that possession is burdensome, editing life at home and letting go of the nuisances in life starting with the material stuff in the house. To the general cleaning that dusted off the non-essentials and put them straight to the trash bin. To reclaiming life through minimalism and home-cooked meals.
To appreciating simple joys like new friendships, new experiences and paths less travelled. To thinking out of the box that society has imposed upon us and to realizing that, “You have to be a little deluded to be motivated.”
The year also brought tragedies and seemingly unsurmountable challenges that, looking back, were lessons worth learning and experiences worth having. To countless tremors, overdose of coffee and 33-hour workdays. To losing countrymen but, along the process, gaining friends outside our borders. To realizing that life is fleeting especially for the un- and under-prepared and that this is a very good opportunity to seize for humanity.
Yet the most important insight I have gained on tragedies is that, “Genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights.”
This is also the year that I have unofficially entered mid-life crisis. With that it brought me some perspectives on some deep stuff. To learning that in youth, we learn; in age, we understand. To realizing that keeping the peace is sometimes better than being right. To be reminded (by Steve Jobs) time and again that you can’t connect the dots looking forward. So we should go and break stuff. To accepting life and accepting regret and picking yourself up and run again. That life is not like the movies where you learn by failing only once. Sometimes you have to fail 48,000 times just to find out the plenty of different ways it could hurt you but not kill you.
There were definitely a lot of things I have learned in 2013 that I will take with me in 2014 to make it better. But the more significant take-away here are the things I was supposed to learn in 2013 and will yet to learn in 2014, 2015 or 3000! Because, again, we are humans and humans are not naturally wise men. I will try again in 2014. I may fail again but, see, I would have just learned another thing to avoid in the future. The joy is in the process, baby.
