Day One of PonzICO

We Definitely Cut to the Chase

Josh Cincinnati
May 16, 2017 · 3 min read
Just in case you want context on what the hell I’m talking about. And as ever, Please Invest.

Y’all. Y’ALL. Fantastic work today. Really, absolutely spectacular. Though we fell short of our Day One fundraising goal by $9,998,900, we are confident we can make up the difference in Days Two through Day Whenever-PonzICO-Overtakes-All-Transactions-And-We-Have-To-Hardfork. And we’re only $34,000 away from getting me that Tesla Model 3.

To further PonzICO’s dedication to #transparency, we’d like to share some details on the launch today. According to an unnamed co-worker, the above tweet had “mad engagement.” He then promptly told me to get the fuck back to work.

Just the angriest engagement around. Numbers from left to right are: impressions, “engagements” (clicks I guess?) and “engagement rate.”

Our reddit post seemed to tickle /r/ethereum:

Including a rather pointed suggestion by Ethereum Foundation Developer Nick Johnson.

As a professional amateur Solidity programmer, I prefer to ignore his carefully constructed article and instead contend that the greatest dividend for the Ethereum community would be an infinite gas limit. Let’s hope that’s on the post-Serenity roadmap. Vitalik Buterin please make it happen.

The PonzICO Roadmap: It’s All Up to the Community

Like any good DAO, we’ve shaped PonzICO’s direction from a randomly drawn selection of tweets.

PonzICO’s Ill-Advisor

First, JeremyRubin is now officially the PonzICO Ill-Advisor, contingent on accepting two terms:

  • He must not expect me to make good on the 5% quoted above. Maybe 1% . I don’t know, depends on how I feel.
  • He must never advise how to spell PonzICO. STAY ON BRAND JEREMY.

Like any good organizational press release, this public Medium post is the first time Jeremy will have heard of these conditions. We eagerly await your reply!

The Saddest Happy Hour That Wasn’t

This has nothing to do with the roadmap, I just wanted to highlight how pathetic this email was.

More Maths Please

Sσunds gσσd tσ me!

Brian Hoffman Please Make Us a PonzICO Video

We’ve been pursuing Brian’s videography skills for quite some time; his cinematic acumen could really take PonzICO to the next (multi-)level(marketing). Evidently, interrupting him during a Wizards game doesn’t work so that’s good to know.

Investors Should Be Able to Vote On the Color of My Tesla

Fantastic idea by Colin. This is clearly the next step. Soon we will release an auxiliary contract by which PonzICO investors can vote on the color of the Tesla they’re buying for me. There are some game theoretic considerations here; I don’t want everyone to gang up and nominate something hideous like metallic black. OR DO I?

PonzICO Roadmap Visualized

Stay tuned. Thanks as always for your enduring support, and as ever,

Please Invest,


Josh Cincinnati

Written by

Renersatz Man, Satyrist, Crypto(graphy|currency|\w+)