A Guide to the “Angry Black Woman” as a Group.

How they can redeem themselves and leave the wilderness.

Yes, I’m making a reference to the biblical definition of a wilderness and no, First Lady Obama is not a stereotypical “angry black woman” and neither am I. However, all black woman are caught up in the stereotype at first glance and under close observation which is why I am compelled to write on the subject. I heard it said in a video lately that “everyone” can be having a great time until the black woman walks into a room. Then, everyone sort of holds their breath these days.

Where else to get started? I’ll share a bit about my background. I am an African-American woman and I also identify as “black”. I had a charmed childhood as an only child of sweet old people from the South. My father was the youngest of four brothers and at age 42, he and my mother had me. Mama was 39 years old. My birth family migrated North and continued their work as domestic workers, trades people and caregivers. I had much older half-siblings but I was the only member of my family who was born in Cincinnati Ohio. The entire group of them are long deceased, I buried them all.

There was never a foul word, no racial epithets, spoken among them about “white” people which allowed me to make friends easily. I consider myself a beneficiary of MLK’s “Dream”.

Education, I was told, was something that nobody could take away from me. It was my job. “Get your learnin’” was repeated from elder to elder in the community that nurtured me. I had to produce a report card for them after they were issued at school. I love academics to this day and forevermore thanks to the pride I felt seeing smiles from adults in the neighborhood far and wide. I wish I could bottle the feeling.

Fast forward to 2014.

SMH.

Sigh.

There is some sort of contest going on between women of all ethnic backgrounds for the measly pickings among black men i.e. rappers, athletes, “ballers”. I use the word “men” loosely. If one can believe reports in social media, which I do, and first hand accounts, women are taking a severe beating when it comes to love and respect. But black women are by far losing in their response, in the quest for all things related to love, companionship and matrimony and they are livid.

The hostile temper of the modern black woman is epic and well-recorded in social media like videos on World Star Hip-Hop and YouTube. If you conduct a search on YouTube, write “black women are” in the search field and the words that populate the field are a scathing indictment on black women and their behavior. I cannot object to what I see and hear, it stands as true, it is what it is.

What I would have black women know is this: You have been outsmarted by white women, the single most competitive group of women on the planet. White women will study and master whatever they put their minds to. I admire their ambition and I am both their ally and formidable opponent, depending on the goal. For a few decades now, black men have sought out white women for dating maybe initially for sexual reasons, things black women won’t do stereotype, but now simply because they are more delightful to relate to.

If I were a heterosexual black man, I surely would not want to have to answer to the angry black woman when I call, visit or come home.

I’m showing you the angle, giving you perspective on the matter. There’s no need to be angry. Take the loss, the “L”, on the chin, dust yourself off and fix your attitude. Most people brag about how brave they are so my sistahs, you may have lost the battle but not the war. Fight back but not by screaming and fighting anyone you meet, rather fight for what’s right in life, your children, your home and your salary… those kinds of fights will occupy your mind with deeds worthy of your time. Don’t chase nor stalk people until you find yourself in criminal trouble! Channel your energy into the right areas. There are important fights in life, toss your hat in the ring, but be careful not to burn out too fast, please pace yourself.

There’s no one to blame really. Love is love and a lot of what I see is not that. Grow your natural hair, save weave money. Eat a proper diet, exercise, lose weight. Master the English language, read books alone and to your children. Start a business like I need to do right after I finish this and secure a bit of capital.

Start smiling again. I never quit and nice men of all sorts flock to me.