MY HAUNTED CHILDHOOD

I believe in Mary Worth….

Let me start by saying that back in the day, all of the kids and relatives that I hung around with used to do the crazy shit I am going to tell you.

And before you condemn me or my parents, we were a church going, God fearing family. Most of us still are. Disclaimers being said….here we go.

Back when I was probably ten or so, my mom and dad used to have some friends come over to bar-b-que and have drinks…Tim and Dina (names have been changed to protect the guilty) would come over, usually with a bottle of liquor or a 12 pack of Genesee beer and with them would be their kids, who were roughly the same age of myself and my two sisters. Now the boy who was the youngest of their group, would disappear and I swear to God to this day I don’t know what he would do in between the time they would come over till the time they left. But us girls? We would keep ourselves busy with the style of the time. After gossiping and laughing over what our parents were doing…(by this time the adults were two drinks into the evening and grilling outside and half arguing over politics..(trust me, nothing changes) ...we would go upstairs and entertain ourselves with what would be now considered occult work. Excuse me while I laugh over the memories. The late sixties were a swingin time, even for young kids.

I swear to God, back in the day, everybody who was anybody were into the phrases of Project Blue Book (as jr high kids, we were fluent in blue-book-ese) and would spend many a late night scanning the skies for UFOs, while at the same time our parents were killing their 12 pack of beer and opening up the Jim Beam. Everyone was a hard drinker and card player back in those days….at least in our neighborhood. Many a grill would be still glowing at midnight, and conversations could be overheard across the fence in the summer in our neighborhood.

Once we got tired of UFOs , we go inside and practice what ALL kids were doing back in the day….*two fingers*

Now I know your dirty minds immediately went *there* but no. Two fingers is not anything sexual, it is a practice of lifting a body from the floor only using your two fingers. I know you will try this at your next party, and I swear to God it works…so this is how to do it.

First, you need a body volunteer. Have your friend lay on the floor and have them put their hands on their stomach…this keeps the arms and hands out of the way. You will need four people to do two fingers, plus the body. So while the body is on the floor, two people kneel on each side of the body and while chanting *the body is stiff*(we were into the details) they take two fingers of each hand and place them underneath the body on the floor. The person on the floors job is to lay there stiff and not doing anything but be stiff and quiet. As the four chant about the body being stiff, they start to stand and as they are doing so, they lift the body with their two fingers of each hand. I swear to you this works. We did this all the time as kids. Mind you, we were limber back then and all of us weighed under 100 lbs, but all things being relative, it still should work.

When we would get bored with that, we would do Mary Worth. Depending on what region of neighborhood you lived in…the tale was that Mary Worth was a witch from the Salem witch burnings. What one would do is do go into a room with a mirror ( a bathroom mirror works the best) turn out all the lights, and chant *I believe in Mary Worth* . You are supposed to do this until something happens. For us back then, one of us would get creeped out early and stop before we ever saw anything.

The Very Last Time we did this (it was done in our basement spare bathroom where our dog Rebel was kept at night) the friends all went home around their usual time of just before the crack of dawn. It was usually my job to put Rebel (he was a beagle) into his room and make sure he had water and had done his business before shutting the door. Before you judge us for locking him up in the spare bathroom, Rebel had a tendency of raiding all the garbage cans in the house and making a general mess.

That night…after doing Mary Worth longer than usual and putting Rebel away…about a half hour later, Rebel did something he Never, ever did before. Howl. He Howled. The whole rest of the night. I buried my head under my pillow and swore to never do Mary Worth again. I never have to this day.

Stay tuned for more.

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