You want to know what my biggest problem was/is, for so long?

Being over powering.

Being too much.

Being too big.

Burning too bright.

Like many, the fear of being, ‘too much, too soon’, was masked behind a fear of insecurity. Yes, ofcourse there were fears of failing, and not being good enough, but they were only present because deep within me, a fire burned knowing that I was capable of so much, and to fail, would be to deny myself what should come so easily, so naturally. This is why I procrastinate. I often wonder, how do I know that this work that I produce will be up to standard?

I was raised by very, very modest parents.

An incredibly modest woman my mother is, who grew up in a time where woman wearing make up, or fashionable garments was seen as warranting the wrong attention. So I had to teach myself to dress up, and feel good, and be proud of the way that I looked as a woman. I had to slowly learn, that that wasn’t bad. That it didn’t make you one of ‘those women’, and that even if it did, what was so bad about, ‘those women’?

I still hesitate sometimes, to post selfies, because I don’t want people to think, ‘she thinks she’s so nice…’ But hey, I do.. I fought to think this, so yes, I really do.

Sometimes I hesitate to post writings, because I don’t want people to think, ‘how weird, that she knows about all of this stuff’.. Yes, yes I do. And there is nothing in the world wrong with being brilliant, or bright, or loving or believing in who you are!

Reach for the stars, and never dim your light because you have been taught to circle cautiously around everybody else. This is the anthem of the abused.

IfYou had parents like mine who suffered any kind of post colonial teachings trauma, you must work feverishly to untie this same burden from falling upon you..

I love being African. I love being from Ghana.. But I know, I know, that I must go a long way to undo wrongs that have been done.