“Gift of One Liners”

(originals: aphorisms and other one-liners, including greguerías)

1. Don’t give a blind man a gun.
2. Even glass castles have locked rooms.
3. Totalitarianism is a democracy with only one voter.
4. Everyone is buried in new clothes.
5. Stuffed animals — permanent smiles sewn onto synthetic faces.
6. Spring cleaning — a lobotomy of the closet.
7. ALIEN’S REPORT OF FEBRUARY 14TH
   Worshipping chocolate organs and castrated flora.
8. STARRY SKY
   Transcribing an eternity worth of notes in photons.
9. WRITTEN BY A. MARKOV
   Sailors come wreathed in coffee spoons.