Seven strategies for resolving technical disagreements

What do you do when you and a coworker have a technical disagreement, but you can’t seem to get anywhere?

The goal is to arrive at a solution which addresses participants’ concerns, and find a way to move forward as a team. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Strive for objectivity. Shift the dynamic of the conversation from “me vs. you” to “us vs. a problem”. Try to state and agree on the goals of whatever tech you’re discussing. Draw up lists of pros and cons and see how they compare to your criteria for a solution.
2. Take time to prepare your case. Discussions are not productive if you are advocating for or against a semi-formed idea. Let the other person have some time (or take some time yourself) to think through your point of view and make sure you can clearly explain your line of reasoning.
3. Understand the other person’s ideas and points. Make a good-faith effort to see their point of view. Remember, your team mate has the same good intentions that you have. Ask as many questions as you need to ask until you understand the other person’s proposal well enough to communicate it back to them. This will let you address each point directly or sometimes decide the other person’s idea is the better one.
4. Identify and acknowledge your assumptions, uncertainties, and gut feelings. “I guess what I’m worried about is…” and “I’m not sure I understand why/what/how…” are good ways to begin this line of thought. This will open the door for collaboration and let your team help you address them.
5. Say “You can convince me if…” and then list what things the other person needs to prove to make you change your mind. This exercise will help you both be objective, and will also force you to think through and understand what really matters to you.
6. Just build it. If discussion doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, try proving your idea with code. For example, build a prototype, run performance tests, write pseudocode, or ultimately just implement one of your ideas and agree to perform a team assessment to decide if it’s a success or failure based on agreed-upon criteria. You can always rewrite it later if it turns out to have been the wrong decision.
7. Step away for a cool-off period. If discussion gets heated, then your emotional states could be affecting your judgment. Agree to take a break for a few hours or a day and then try again later.