Life: Interrupted
C.S. Lewis once said:
“ The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions, are precisely one’s life.”
In my life, and in my family, we are constantly in a varied state of chaos. One rolling crisis after another. So much so, that our friends are no longer surprised when they receive news of another Lawrence Household emergency, and they generally refer to it as the “Lawrence Luck”. It’s a well known phenomenon in my circle. My life is constantly being interrupted.
Our crises are typically somewhere in the middle emergency zone. Illnesses that don’t have answers, unexpected job changes, multiple surgeries, ER visits, and children who are beautifully, fiercely strong willed and fueled seemingly by oxygen-not sleep or food. I married a man who only chooses dangerous careers, so that comes with its own set of interruptions: urgent phone calls, injuries, unanticipated time away.
My interruptions aren’t unique, though one could argue that the regularity of which they occur is unusual. They’re a sprinkling of all struggles.
Like a “Jack of all Trades”, but I’m a “Jack of all Crises”.
I know I’m not alone. We all have interruptions. We all have great plans that are waylaid by something outside of our control. I used to be so frustrated with these interruptions.
“Why can’t I catch a break?!”
“I just want to bet back to my life!”
I fought these interruptions tooth and nail for as long as I can remember. I’ve had different jobs, different social media foci, but I can never stay in one thing too long-not because I change my mind, but because I’m always interrupted by something. I have been so preoccupied with trying to get back to the way things were-to where I was, that I never stopped to look up and see where I actually am. What I’ve regarded as interruptions, are exactly my life, as Mr. Lewis would say. My life is interrupted-always. I accept that. I have let go of the resistance, and come to be present without looking back or looking forward. Acceptance has given me freedom. Instead of trying to get back to my life, I embrace the chaos, and there is power in that. This is the life that I have been given. I am excellent at survival mode. I am great at coordinating chaos, and I am who you want in a crisis. Truthfully, I’m not sure who I would be without my interruptions. It is, in fact, the interruptions that define this woman.
I plan to share my interruptions with you in an effort to inspire community and to offer hope. I believe we are better together, and to build deep relationships we must be honest and transparent. Many of these interruptions come with a “sensitive subject” label, and that label usually means there’s a lack of support in whatever subject it is. We need to change that. We need support. We need to share our interruptions. Stay tuned, and don’t be afraid to chime in.
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Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash