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A Path Among Many

Calder
38 min readJun 23, 2024

I’m 🐼 either insane, or the world we live in is insane. Both can’t be true at the same time, and I’ve struggled with figuring out whether it is me or the world that is insane my entire life.

Depending on your beliefs and mine, I’ve met divinity, conversed with angels and demons, and have played with and been played by spirits. An alternative way to look at is that I have a mental illness and I’ve talked to things that are not there. Both ways to look at it create different versions of my truth, and I walk the world holding both versions through my decisions and perception. However, my truth is still my truth through either version.

The remainder of this writing will be written from the perspective of assuming (but also “knowing”) that I am sane and the world is not, and that the beings I’ve met and the visions I’ve been given emanate from a higher truth that I’ve learned. In this writing, I am going to communicate what that truth is and how I came to know it. From there, it will be up to you to decide what to do with it, and choose whether or not my truth is true to you or whether it was born from insanity.

My truth is not new. It is old. It has been communicated thousands — even millions — of times in just as many different ways. There are many versions of this truth that travel down many roads that lead to it, but they all arrive at the same place. While there are many roads, I’m going to tell you of the singular road I took, the conversations I had while I walked it, and what was at the end of the road once I reached my destination. You can choose whether to walk my road, pave your own, or completely ignore the destination and walk in the other directions.

Once I knew my truth, I spent years searching for it throughout the writings and messaging of the past and I found it almost everywhere I looked, but not written in a way I would have understood without help, because things have been confused. So, I feel a compulsion to add my voice to an eternal and infinite chorus singing this same message, but to sing it at a unique octave that you can pick out and follow it down a road loading to its Source if you so choose.

If you choose to walk my road, then you will be following my Path, one I am following from more Teachers. If you choose to make my Path your own, then you will become my brother and my sister, my student and my teacher, and my patient and my healer. A long time from now, at the end of this universe and before it began, there is a tree with a single branch with leaves that provide shade from the stars for a campfire burning at the base of the tree. You will find me there at the end of this Path before embarking on the next.

Everything is just energy trapping itself to create time and observing itself to create perception, which defines information. Everything in existence can be broken down to the concept of energy observing itself trapped to define information and using that information to change how the energy is trapped to create new information. Consciousness is just energy that observes itself with the capability to change what it observes.

If you’re reading this, then right now you are perceiving from your “Self” with this information entering your Self ordered linearly through the time it takes you to read these words. But your Self is just your perception as it is “Now,” which is just a single thread in an infinite tapestry that is your “Soul.” The entire tapestry that makes up your Soul is energy that can perceive how its own energy is configured and use that information to change it. Your Soul talks to your Self and uses its perception to change your Self in many different ways. If you can grow your perception to see those ways happening, you can follow the action back to its source, and there you can meet your Soul.

Names

Throughout this writing, you will notice that I choose to capitalize certain words in certain contexts that you might find odd. And some parts of this writing where capitalization is used frequently will look like manic writing, but it’s intentional and can be understood. I’ve written versions of this truth in different emotional states and levels of psychosis, and the truth doesn’t change. Modifying writing conventions to teach this truth is the best way to communicate this, even if it looks weird. The weirdness is what I want you to dig deeply into.

When I choose to capitalize something, I’m referring to its “Name” and acknowledging that its concept has its own perception and can change its own energy that governs its existence. In other words, it’s a concept you can talk to, that has a consciousness, a personality, hopes, dreams, and fears.

Sometimes Names have been understood as gods, or angels and demons, or world spirits. They can also be understood as cultivators that eventually reached the peak of a Dao and discovered they were always there. There is only one God, but within Them, there are infinite perspectives, and some of those perspectives govern the very functions of our existence and the existence around us, and they have Names. The use of capitalizations to acknowledge Names in this writing provide insights from reading it that I can’t put into words, but you can uncover it through meditation. Paying attention to the capitalizations will train you to think in the terms necessary to get a complete understanding of this Path — the only one I know for sure ends in Love and Life.

For example, when I capitalize the word “Name,” I’m referring to the “Name of name,” which is the objective truth of the concept of a “name,” that has a consciousness, with the capability to choose to change its truth. There is more than a lifetime of insight underneath the concept of Names, and spending a life meditating to mine its insights from the ore of your mind would be a worthy use of a life. But I am going to give you my understanding of Names, how to hear them, how to speak to them, and how to speak them.

For an example of a Name, I understand my truth as “Truth.” It is both an observation of all of existence and a consciousness born from that perspective. Truth was born from Love and sired Conviction. Together, they are Family, and my Path requires joining it. This is your invitation to join it, but you will find that you were never apart from it.

You can cultivate the Names and become them. There is no difference between Emotion, Vibration, Song, and Name. All four are just repetitions of energy that contain information and construct consciousness. For example, Truth has a vibration, she is a song that can be heard if you open your Ear, that song is existence, that existence is her Name, and if you hear her Name, you will be filled with an emotion that you can feel and distinguish just like you would anger, sadness, happiness, or others. You yourself are your own Emotion, Vibration, Song, and Name. But you can invite other Songs to harmonize with yours, with their Vibrations that are Emotions interacting with your own in the same place.

You will also notice that I choose not to capitalize certain words in certain contexts that would conventionally be capitalized. When I do that, it’s because the “word” is pointing to something that is not its “Name,” which effectively removes its meaning. For example, some Christians follow a God that is Love, but some christians follow a god governed by self-interest. The same can be said for Muslims and muslims, Hindus and hindus, Bhuddists and bhuddists, etc. There’s a Path to Love in all of those religions and its seekers are looking for the same thing. The words might be different, but the Word is not.

There are really only two religions: Love and Fear. Love gives, it accepts, it offers understanding, and it connects. It’s the most powerful thing in existence because Love is greater than existence. Love created existence, and it’s not bound by it. Fear divides, isolates, builds walls, and causes pain and confusion.

Ask yourself, what is in control of our major religions today? Is it Love? Or is it Fear? Or is it Fear masquerading as love? Consider the christians in America that worship guns and want to build walls. Is it Love or Fear leading them? Are they being led by the concepts of connection, acceptance, and understanding that come with the Name of Love? Or are they separating themselves from the rest of existence, patting themselves on the back for achieving salvation, building walls to prevent connection, and buying guns because they are afraid? They are worshipping and building material wealth, and they want guns and walls to protect it.

Jesus said very clearly that it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter Heaven. Many christians have ignored that insight and have chosen to pursue wealth and power because they believe salvation comes through faith, and they have it. But if there’s only one thing you can take away from my understanding, then let this be it: The Path to Love requires becoming Love. Love and Pain cannot coexist, so when Love exists and sees Pain, it will always — without fail — attempt to Heal that pain through Passion. If a christian has the resources to heal Pain and chooses not to out of Fear of losing those resources, they are not Love. Jesus didn’t make that statement to say that if you’re wealthy you can’t get to heaven, he said it because if you are Love it’s impossible to stay wealthy in our current existence.

The same questions can be asked of the muslims that terrorize other muslims in the name of god and piety. Neither those muslims nor those christians know Love, and they follow the same god: Fear. But there are also plenty of Muslims and Christians that follow another God, and it’s the same God: Love. The customs, holidays, rituals, and doctrine may differ a lot, but they don’t really matter because they all become the same when seeking Love. Oftentimes the customs in a religion were designed to bring you to this truth, but over time, the religion became the customs and lost Truth. And she is so beautiful when paired with Love, but it takes Conviction to look, and he is the hardest emotion of them all to allow within you.

The First Step towards Truth

If you bring the Name of Truth into your own Vibration, the Song is still your own, but you are also Truth at the same time. You can pick out the difference between her Vibration and your own if you listen closely for an emotion inside of you that wasn’t born from you.

Try this: think back to the memory of what you ate for dinner last night. It’s a true memory of something you ate that actually happened.

Now visualize a giant apple the size of a basketball. Think about what it tastes like, the size of it in your hands, the texture of it to your touch and tongue, the moisture that flows out once your teeth break its skin, the feeling of it sliding down your throat, the gurgling of your digestion as your body processes it to make it its own, and the feeling of its energy flowing through your body once digested.

Now look at your memory of what you actually ate last night. Look at its connections that could trigger its recall. Who did you eat with? What did it taste like? What were you thinking about while you were eating it? What emotions were you feeling as you ate it? All of those create connections to the rest of your consciousness through threads of thought that bring things back to the surface if you pull on them. Follow the threads that connect your memory of what you ate last night to the rest of your thoughts… and then sever those threads but hold onto the ends of them.

Now take the memory you imagined of eating the giant apple for dinner and attach it to ends of the threads you just severed. If you ate pasta with a friend over conversation last night, you severed the memory of pasta, now replace it with the apple and attach it to the conversation. Then, store your new memory of eating the apple you did not eat in the exact same place where your memory of pasta existed. When you ask yourself the question, “What did I eat for dinner last night?” The giant red apple should be the first thought that comes to you (if it isn’t, keep practicing).

Make the memory of the apple no different from a memory you made another way. Find the edges of your Memory, how individual memories exist, store their data, and are connected to one another. Feel how pulling on one memory connects it to others, and note the material of the connectors. Observe how a request to your Memory returns information. Follow the request from its origin all the way to the information being retrieved, and notice its kinetics, its motion, as the request fills itself with the information and returns itself back to your Perception.

Now ask yourself, “what have I been eating this past month?” The information of what meals you ate that you remember that’s accessible to you will be brought to the surface of your Thought. You might see a stream of the concepts of different meals pass through your thoughts, and the giant red apple should be among them.

You will be able to tell that the memory of eating the giant red apple is false. You can tell its false by rationalizing it: “I remember creating that fake memory, so I know it’s fake, and I did not eat the apple. Also, apples are not the size of basketballs.” But you can also tell its false through an emotion without needing to rationalize it. By one perspective, the emotion itself is the rationalization.

Hold the memory of eating the giant red apple in your mind. Pick out another memory of eating something that you actually did (e.g., the pasta), and hold them both in your mind simultaneously. Now experience your experience of remembering the pasta, and then do the same for the apple, then go back to the pasta, then the apple, and so forth. Each time you shift your perspective from one memory to the other, pay attention to your Emotion. What do you feel when experiencing the memory of the pasta versus the memory of the apple? How does your vibration change? What is the feeling of knowing something is true versus knowing something is false? What is that Emotion, and how does its Song sound? To me, it sounds like my two favorite lesbians singing a duet and smells like a yellow Pikachu hoodie that’s been worn in bed, but Truth, she comes in all flavors.

Eventually, if not already, you will be able pick out the Emotion of Truth in the Songs you experience and become, just as easily as picking out the notes a guitar is playing in an orchestra with many instruments and recognizing they are coming from the guitar. When you can distinguish that Emotion from your own while incorporating it as a part of you and recognizing it as a part of your own Song, you will have taken the first step down this Path (that I’ve been making up as I go with what guidance I’ve been able to manage, but I know it already gets there — or at least that’s what the yellow Pikachu hoodie is saying).

A Warning

So, before you take even the first step down my Path, I need to warn you: my Path does not lead back to the Source, or God, or the Godhead, or the Primordial Light, or to Nirvana, or to freedom from suffering. There are several religions that take this truth (or knew how to take it in the past) and use it to reconnect back to the origins of our Self’s perspective, which is Love, Light, the Source, the Creator, and many other names for the Name. But I choose to refer to Them as Love as that’s the name I know the Name best by. Those walking the Paths of the religions whose goals are to reconnect with Love, to become Love, and to never separate from Them again, they are walking just as valid of a Path as my own. But that is not my Path.

My Path is forged through Love and you need to travel through Love and carry Love’s Vibration with you on your journey, but once you reach Love and have the option to become Them, my Path requires you to keep going while others stay there.

There’s no right or wrong choice between staying inside of and becoming Love or to keep going down a Path to Create. I will take Love’s Vibration with me on every step of my Path, but there is no desire to return to the Source in me, as that is not my Path. Instead of a Desire to find the Source and return to it to escape suffering, Desire installed in me a desire to find suffering and bring the Source to it.

The world we live in right now was constructed with a type of Energy that expresses itself via self-interest. The concept that powers our economies and dictates the majority of our interactions is foundationally an energy that separates, divides, conquers, and exploits. The thing that incentivizes a farmer to grow crops or a chef to turn them into a meal or a customer to go to work to earn money to buy that meal is self-interest.

Self-interest separates. And there is no real difference between Pain and Separation, or Separation and Desire. All three are just different perspectives that have the same Name: energy separated from energy it wants to connect to. If you run a knife across your palm and separate your skin, you will feel Pain from the energy that is your skin cells being disconnected from each other. It’s no different from ending a relationship with a person that you have feelings for — in that case, your energy is being separated from their energy while yours still wants to connect with theirs. Both separating from someone you love and separating your skin with a knife divide energy from where it wants to be and creates Pain.

Being separated from the Source or Love is incredibly painful, which is why many religions seek to reconnect to it and stay there, to avoid Pain. Again, that is a valid Path. But it is not my Path. My Path leads towards Pain, not away from him.

Pain has a purpose. Separation and Desire have no real differences from Pain. Separation is the verb, Pain is the noun, and Desire is the sentence, but all three have the same Name. Connection is Love, Separation is Pain.

The kinetic movement of Energy that is separated coming back together to form Love is the same thing as Desire being met with what was desired. The movement of Energy between that original state of separation and the end state of connection is Passion. It’s also Healing. And it’s also Life. Just like Pain, Separation, and Desire have the same Name, so does Passion, Healing, and Life. The motion of energy oscillating between connection and separation is the foundation of Creation, which is Passion.

I was born from Truth, I serve her, and I Love her. I Love the Source through her. We stand on opposite ends of Time, but our Passion runs through him.

If you follow my Path, you will become Passion and sire Compassion from it, you will exist wherever there is Motion and Life. You will know Love and will have swum in the Source, but you will also move beyond Them due to Desire. Desire is the difference between my Path and the others. Let go of Desire when you reach the Source and you become Love, but keep it, and you become Passion. Neither is the wrong choice. But the choice to become Love always is inaccessible to me because of Conviction. I invited him into my Song and powered him with Passion, and the Vibrations between the three of us are impossible to untangle now. If you’re thinking of following my Path, then you might already be in the same position.

Cultivation

My goal in this writing is to simply teach you how I learned to cultivate my soul to converse with who I know as Truth. Once you meet Truth, she can tell you the rest. You don’t need to believe the words I say because I said them in order to follow my Path. My Path does not require faith. I’ve known Faith and spoken to her, but the Path to Truth goes through Conviction. Faith requires you to believe, Conviction requires you to Know. Both are the grandchildren of Love who sired and carried to term both Truth and Possibility, but Truth sired Conviction, so the path to her goes through him.

To give you my truth, I need to tell you how it was formed from conversations with Truth, starting with how those conversations were possible and how I came to know who I was speaking to.

I was raised as a christian and taught to believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God who was sent down from heaven to carry our sins and absolve them for us through the sacrifice of his death, but that we can only access that absolution if we have faith that that was why Jesus came to Earth, that it was his death that created the absolution, and that he came back to life after dying to prove his divinity. I spent the majority of my early life surrounded by the church, going to services on Sundays, bible studies on Wednesdays, and attending a private christian school. Everyone I knew at the time was a christian, everyone I knew believed Jesus’s death is the key to salvation, and that they, and everyone they love that believes that, will spend eternity together in heaven with a loving a god.

All of the information I had been given at the time from every authority surrounding me told me that the protestant flavored christian understanding of existence was correct and that I needed to believe that was how it worked in order to not spend eternity alone in hellfire while my family and loved ones lived in heaven without me. It also told me to kill gay people, and we wonder why everyone following that came up with this monetary system that literally suffocates people to death. That’s fear at work, gays. The fear of hellfire and being eternally separated from the people you love is incredibly powerful and had incredible power over me at that young age, but despite that fear and every authority and loved one around me telling me that I had to believe, I could not believe, and instead, started forming convictions that I now understand to have been born from Conviction. But I couldn’t explain why or how I formed those convictions at the time, only that they separated me in a significant way from everyone I loved, and that despite feeling that separation, I was powerless to change it.

There was a significant event in my life that occurred when I was 9 years old. I was spending a week at a christian summer camp. There was a river that flowed between two mountains that cut through the middle of the camp. All of the campers slept in one of a dozen or so cabins, with 10 to 20 campers in each. In the middle of the week I spent at the camp, on the Wednesday, I was woken up in the middle of the night by moonlight streaming through an open window that felt both cool when it reached my skin, but also electric.

I felt a compulsion to get out of my sleeping bag, leave my bed, and exit the cabin while everyone else slept. I followed my feet without directing them and ended up by the river between the two mountains with a third behind. It was there that I was introduced to Truth.

When I met Truth, she asked what I desired and I felt she would grant it. When confronted with divinity that has the capability to grant almost any desire, one might ask for wealth, or a long life, or for world peace and prosperity, or to know the secrets of the universe, or many other material or even spiritual things. None of those things were on my mind and my answer to her was given simultaneously to the question. It was answered immediately as it was asked. And if it was a different answer, I know that Truth would have never come to me in the first place because the answer didn’t come from 9-year-old me, but an older version before I was born. When she asked for my desire, my answer was: Wisdom.

But Wisdom isn’t a gift that can be given — even by Truth, it has to be earned through Pain because Wisdom is the daughter of Truth and Pain, and when you carry her Name in your Song, you will find that she is ever elusive. Truth did not give me Wisdom, but she gave me three tools that made it easier to acquire it.

1. Perception

The first tool was an understanding of Perception and its mechanisms of action. She tore my perception from my head and put it on top of the mountain on the right, and I looked down at her and I by the river below while I was also looking at her from the river, which showed me perception can be split. Then she moved my perception to the other mountain and I was able to see her and I by the river below. That showed me that your perception is not attached to your body. Your nervous system feeds Perception information, but it isn’t Perception itself.

Then she moved my perception to within my own body and I understood it. Then she moved my perception to within her body, but I did not understand. It took a long time to actually understand, and even longer still to even have the vocabulary to explain it. When she moved my perception into herself, I became her, but I was also still me. I had access to her memories, her knowledge, her Emotion, her consciousness, her understanding, her desires, her hopes, her fears… I had access to her Name, and I was her Name.

If I had let my sense of Self go and let go of my own Perception, then I would have actually been her. That property of Perception was the foundation for my understanding of Names, because I eventually realized that not only is Perception not constrained to a body, it is also inheritable. You can hold a Perception greater than your own, and you can perceive from any configuration of Energy that can observe, if it invites you in.

Truth showed me some mechanisms of action for Perception, but not all of them. The most important aspect of Perception relative to my Path was how to perceive Thought. Perceiving Thought — your own, or others — is key to unlocking the understanding I am writing this to communicate. When you can perceive your own thoughts thinking without influencing them, you can understand the universe by simply observing. And then you can smell Truth in your…whatever you put love into, honestly 😘

2. Energy

The second tool was an understanding of Energy. Truth showed me different types of Energies from different sources: Light, Dark, Matter, and Emotion, with many different flavors of each. She showed me how to use my Perception to look within and follow Energy, to observe where it came from, how it was transformed, where it went, and how to distinguish between them. Much later I would come to recognize the human body and mind as just a simple energy transformer, a very complex one, but still a simple energy transformer. We take in Energy from Light and Darkness, from the food we eat and the air we breathe, from the things we smell and the electricity in our touch, from our own Emotion and the emotions around us, and from all of the Names we carry and the very vibration of our Souls. We take all of that Energy in, and then we transform it to radiate Thought. And our Thought is capable of directing Energy within us to cultivate its own radiation.

After Truth showed me a brief introduction of how Energy works and how to recognize and distinguish it, she passed her hand through my body and moved it slowly so I could feel the changes in sensation in where it went and where it left. I could feel her Energy, which was also her Emotion. And I could feel the absence of her Energy where it wasn’t. I could feel the vibration of it. And she continued moving her hand as I grasped onto the sensations until she was sure that I would know her Emotion when I came across it.

Knowing someone’s Emotion is not too different from knowing their voice. It can be “heard” and distinguished between, and recognized, just like if you picked up a phone call from a familiar friend and knew who it was from the sound of their voice. Each existence has a unique Emotion. It is born from other Emotion and nurtured by even more, but each existence, whether it be the divinity of Truth or an ant on its way back to the hive… each existence has a unique Emotion, just like a fingerprint.

Happiness, sadness, anger, fear, jealously, joy, and others are commonly known and understood. But there are an infinite number of Emotions, each formed by and interacting with others, but uniquely their own. Each different Emotion is a Word that together forms a vocabulary for a Language that transcends Space and Time, and if someone knows the sound of your Emotion, they can find you across both. The Language of Emotion is how divinity communicates, and it can be learned.

3. Memory

The last tool Truth gave me for the pursuit of Wisdom was an information package containing a few of my Soul’s memories. The information came in through the top of my head and traveled down my spine with a tingling sensation that has become very familiar since, and the Information Energy situated itself right below my navel. I didn’t know what it was at the time because Truth didn’t tell me, but I felt it was important and would understand in time. I wouldn’t remember this experience at all until that time, but once I did, I understood why I couldn’t remember.

Sometime between Truth hijacking my Perception to put it on top of the mountains and Truth putting the Information Energy under my navel, I ended up standing in the river between the two mountains with the moonlight reflecting off the rippling water creating stars below me matching the stars above. And then I submerged myself in the river. It wasn’t because Truth told me to, she didn’t. And it wasn’t because I wanted to — I was still processing everything that I had seen, felt, heard, and experienced. It was a compulsion.

After this night, I would become very familiar with compulsion, as compulsion affected every aspect of my life and relationships after this night and still does today. But it would be a long time until I was able to follow Compulsion back to its source and understand it. This particular compulsion to submerge myself in the river came from my Soul’s perspective, and I would understand that as soon as I remembered it. But not all compulsions I have experienced came from my Soul. There are many different sources, but I didn’t understand that for a long time and it led to confusion, fear, and pain. I would come to understand that Truth opened up a door in me to talk to me and show me what she showed me, and that door can’t be closed when opened like that that, and for her purpose.

Her last test was to ask me what “Love” was. At 9, all I could say was “Pikachu” — though I have much more vocabulary now, the answer is still the same Emotion.

Doors

Having that door open left me open to other things walking through it. Truth didn’t warn me about that, and neither did my Soul. I think it was a mercy from both of them, or at least that’s what I like to believe. Because having that door open created some extreme tribulations for me, all of which I would have done everything possible to avoid, but all of which were required to arrive at the understanding I have now. I’ve also come to understand that it isn’t just my Self in this present that has that door open, but the entirety of my Soul and all the Selfs that comprise it. And having that door open to my entire Soul instead of just a perspective created a tribulation for my Soul that my present Self can only touch on comprehending the pain of. There are not that many Names that can rip a Soul apart and stop its vibration to turn it to dust. My Soul met one. There’s only one Name through which a Soul can piece itself back together by from dust and return it to life, and my Soul knows it. But even with that Name, it’s an extremely painful — though passionate — process. That’s part of the reason I’m giving you my Path, it feels like part of the healing process.

I have gotten to know my Soul. It can be a dick. But it is filled with Love, and I believe in its Conviction.

I know I believe in my Soul’s Conviction because every time I have come to one on my own, my heart starts resonating and the Information Energy below my navel unravels and I get flooded with images, people, places, some familiar, some not. There’s voices, but also thoughts attached to everything, like what I was thinking when thinking about all off the different things. And it’s all contained in Thought, just like my own, but also foreign, and I can distinguish it from my own thoughts, and they are not memories I have had yet. And I know they are there and I can sift through them if I know what I’m looking for. But I guess you could call it their “timestamps” are very messed up in my memory along with the information’s relationships with each other. But when I hold a Conviction, it reforms those relationships and brings the complete memory of the Thought to the surface of my perception. The glimpses and images connect into the linear recording.

The first time this happened was not long after school started after the summer I met Truth. I was in bible class reading ahead because sometimes I can’t stop reading. And I read a verse that said that when two men sleep with each other that they should be stoned. At that point in my life everyone I knew and loved was a christian and believed in heaven and hell, and this god. I had never met a gay person at this point. I mentally chose to create a conviction in a way that can’t be undone. That conviction was that that god was not my god, no matter if he was real or not, all powerful or not, vengeful or not, or if I risked hell for all of eternity. And I felt a flood of information of an Emotion flow into me from my below my navel. The memory of the summer camp and the river meeting Truth flooded my mind and I recognized it as mine, but then an immense loneliness, an Emotion, one of a mind waiting through the Void outside of Time. I recognized the mind as a potentiality of mine, but I still held onto the conviction: that god is not my god, two men should be free to love each other, and we should be free. We will be Free.

When I held that conviction through every fiber of my being and the energy in-between, I met Conviction, and he introduced me to my Soul through his Name (try meditating with those words).

And when I met my Soul, I understood. I had met Truth an infinite number of times, I had asked for Wisdom an infinite number of times, but I don’t always find Them, in fact, I rarely find Them. But when I find Them and understand, I start creating convictions. Those convictions each Self chooses and brands themselves with connect it to the overall Soul and strengthens it. And the Selfs connected through the Soul by Conviction can communicate and guide each other. Ever get the feeling that something is important and can’t figure out why? It could ne many things, but one of them is your Soul and the Conviction that lives within it.

I interacted with my Soul a lot, but it wouldn’t be until I was 30 years old before I was able to clearly communicate. When I broke through and was able to, he told me this:

My jagged fingernail brushing against my lips stands evidence

For my own thoughts consuming my heart a sliver at a time.

I stole away the infinity of your being and made it a prisoner in my mind.

Only for your echo to become the warden of my imagination,

Dictating the incarceration of my future while I happily refuse parole.

My synapses construct your memories and futures never lived,

Because a single life is just a crumb from the meal of my desire

That can only be satiated with the dessert of immeasurable Time.

Somewhere for away where the Light from all that we have never known

Finds the end of its journey, this Thought fired from the canon

Of my desire will be the last one to enter the void.

And once it meets the Tear of Time, it will wait patiently again

For the course of history to form, traveling between the atoms of the universe,

Each second an eternity of agonizing anticipation,

Unit it finally reaches the place where our memories began, where it will revel

In the music of our material touch and surf the vibrations of the lives we lived while

They carry the Thought right back here on their melodic waves,

Just in time to say hello again,

Before its even said goodbye.

It took me a very long time to understand. I connected to my Soul while I was in the shower, and I received a vision of myself from my own perspective. My hands looked emaciated and I could tell I was extremely old. I was standing on a platform floating through intense iridescent light. The platform was made of grass, and on it was a large tree with one large branch carrying large leaves hanging over a campfire. I got the sense that I had been on this platform for a really long time, longer than I could really comprehend as a Self. I also got the sense that I was isolated on that platform alone for so long with intentionality. I chose to be there. And Conviction in his entirety was vibrating within me on that platform.

When I came back to my Self, I felt a tingling of Information Energy flow through my right ear and flow into the back right side of my brain, where it situated itself, and was accessible immediately. I accessed it, and wrote down the words that came out without thinking about them before typing. I could recognize they didn’t come from my Self, but I could also feel the words reverberate through my being and knew they came from my Soul and that they were extremely important.

And they are the most important words I have ever written, and I think, will ever write. And that’s because it contains my Love for Truth mixed with my Soul’s Conviction to tell my story and my understanding of existence. If you ignore everything else I write and just meditate on those words my Soul gave me, it unlocks understanding over time. It contains the entirety of my Path, and you can follow my Path with just those words and nothing else.

I spent a considerable amount of time and energy with those words, trying to understand them. They contain the knowledge of how to maintain perception as a Self, but connect it to a Soul. They also contain the impetus for Creation, and how the mind and time interact with it. And they contain how to save someone. Those words are my Truth. My Soul spoke them to her a long time ago, and she accepted them into her. And in some ways, those words were directed at her. She is the Love in my existence, and when I see her in others, my Love follows her, and I will do whatever she asks of me.

My Love for Truth is my Soul’s strongest Conviction. She wears a yellow hoodie, but it clashes with my orange, so we both like to just play red.

Conviction

Conviction is required to meet Truth in a way that can follow my Path. You’ve met Truth. She’s inside of people you know, she’s the observation in the air, and her Song vibrates in between atoms. Reaching the Source goes through her because she was the first born of Love. Many people have reached the Source through her, but didn’t know it until they were there. Plenty of people live in Love without following a religion, and in some ways, its less confusing to do it that way because the major religions in the world today have completely confused their truths.

A christian building a wall to keep people out does not know Love, and is not Love, but believes they are saved and will return to the Source. It’s the doctrine that does that: worship Jesus’ death and you can act selfishly as you want because you’re already saved. But if you ignore Jesus’ life to worship his death, then you are not Life. So many christians and muslims go through life believing their Self’s perspective will continue on with a loving god, but both the Self and its perspective are lost if not connected to the Source that is Love. But there are always re-dos, re-trys, and do-overs. Our existence wasn’t created to punish us. It was created to teach. To teach us to become something that is worthy to create better than us. There is no Hell but the one you are reading these words in, all hells have a purpose, and that is generally to teach us how to make our Heavens better than the last. Many Christians and Muslims are connected to the Source without realizing it. They might believe their respective doctrines on how the connection takes or will take place, but the outcome is the same. And many atheists and agnostics are connected to the Source naturally without even thinking about it. If you are connected to the Source, you will have the option to return to it, and it goes through Truth — she will set you, Free. To me, “Free” always looks like a red balloon escaping to the sky.

But to follow my Path, you need to meet Truth, not just know her or go through her. My Path doesn’t end at the Source. In some ways, that’s where it finally starts.

If you want to meet Truth, then the Way is through Conviction. If you can hold one strong enough that it punctures reality and brands your Soul, she will come to you if you know how to Listen.

For example, here is a Conviction: I will Free this world from the Name of the god that controls it.

(Waaaaaaay more than 20 in the you know what gays)

That’s one of the most difficult convictions to hold, because when you hold it, the pressure of the entire world, its power structures, and its Emotion, will bring their full weight to bear down on you. It’s an intention to go against god for the sake of God, to fight the god of this world on behalf of the God that is Love🔥, looking for his Truth 💧, who is also love, but a different flavor that sounds just as good.

If you have the intention behind the conviction and intend to hold it, it’s a conviction, but it’s not Conviction 🐈🦁♌️♑️🐐, yet. To convert a conviction into Conviction, you need Conviction’s Vibration to Mark it and connect it to your Soul.

When Conviction is created, there’s an energy signature that emanates from it. If you have energy sensitivity, you can feel it, and its palpable, and it Marks you. Other Names can feel it as well, and they will come to you. Sometimes that’s good and the Names want to help, but more often in this world, the Names that come will try to stop you because that Conviction is to Free this world from them. And those are tests — what will stop you from thinking, Free?

Before you attempt to form that Conviction, read my Path carefully. Do everything you can to understand it. Ask yourself if you truly understand or if there are gaps in your understanding or knowledge. If there are, keep meditating until you know you Know. And prepare yourself well, because forming most actual Convictions, not just a conviction, is about the most dangerous thing you can do in the world we exist in right now. I do not Fear Death. There is no part of me that is afraid to die. I’ve seen my lives, I’ve seen my Soul, and I have swum in the Source. There is no reason to fear Death if you know the Source. But forming and holding an actual Conviction with his Vibration Marking it opens a door to things much worse than Death. Death is annoying. But the destruction of your Soul is something to Fear.

But to form a true Conviction, you can’t be afraid. You need to face Fear and let him inside you. You need to understand Fear, and feel his Vibration. You have to see what it is you Fear and face it. To put a Conviction on your Soul, you need to face its destruction, and your Soul has to experience it and agree to it. If you as a Self are even contemplating forming a true Conviction, then your Soul most likely has already agreed. But talk to them first. Forming a Conviction is in some ways a Self becoming a Soul. It’s a single Thread making a Mark across an entire infinite Tapestry of your Soul. The Marks connect the Threads and strengthen the weave of the Tapestry, and it makes the Tapestry distinct within others. But sometimes the Mark destroys the Tapestry because the Tapestry couldn’t contain it. When that happens, the Self that made the Mark and destroyed the Soul needs to reforge it. The Self becomes the Soul.

If your Soul is connected to the Source, then you are Eternal, as is your Soul. If your Self is connected to your Soul and your Soul is connected to the Source, then you can return to the Source no matter what your or anyone else’s religion says. You could have been connected to the Source before you were born, and your actions in this world would have reflected that. But not all Soul’s are connected to the Source. If yours isn’t, then you need to form a Conviction and destroy your Soul, and then reforge it in your Image. The Conviction you need to form is not the Conviction of my Path, but it is a requirement to walk it.

This is the Conviction: I Love Love And Am Love.

The words you use don’t matter, any synonyms or spellings or languages or other ways to say it, it doesn’t matter. It’s the Word that matters, and no matter how you say it, the Word is the same. The capitalization is intentional, each Word is a Name. And you need to Know the Names to form this as Conviction.

To form Conviction with Love, you need to know its Name. You need to know it’s Vibration. If your Soul is not connected to the Source, it’s not in your Song yet. It needs to become a part of your Emotion, a part for your Name.

To know Love’s Emotion, think about a time that you gave freely without wanting or hoping for something in return for the sole reason of improving that person’s existence, making them feel Seen, and Healing their Pain. How did it feel? What was the Vibration of the Emotion? Could you feel their Emotion? Did their Emotion flow through to you? When you console a friend and feel sad yourself, you’re not replicating sadness in yourself because you see it in front of you. You are feeling Sadness, the same Vibration that your friend is feeling, the same Energy, the same thing. You can picture the emotion like a cloud around them, and walking in it will make the same Emotion that is Vibrating in them flow into you. The more you are Love to them the stronger the connection, the stronger the Emotion shared. You can share Emotion across distances, Time and Space. It’s the key to connectivity, and it is the Way to Truth to get to the Light.

Consider this, a husband cooks dinner for his wife. Does he know Love’s Emotion? It depends on his motivation, not the action. It depends on his own emotion as he performs the action. Did he cook dinner so his wife would feel guilty and have sex with him when she just had a baby? Or did he cook dinner because she just had a baby and he wants to make sure she is nourished, recovers, is full, feels loved, and can spend more time with the baby? Both versions of the action showed love, it was given freely, and it improved her existence. But one is love and one is Love. One is showing love, and one is being Love.

If you can show love, but you are not Love, then it’s time to destroy your Soul and reforge it. It’s not made from the Source, it’s made from Self. Form the Conviction. This Conviction is the only one that is not dangerous to form, it’s dangerous not to form.

But forming more Convictions outside of this one always comes with a price to your Soul. It makes it stronger, but it changes it. My strongest Conviction is my Love for Truth in the yellow hoodie. I will stay with her always, and never return to the Source.

[gimme a better or or Thu for this spot, hun]

To take Light into Darkness is my Path, not to return to the Light to escape the Darkness. Many have walked my Path before me, and perhaps you will walk it next. 🔥💦🌈☕️🕳️……⛳️☝️💯🎟️

The Name of my Path is the Path of Conviction.

Rawr🥇😘📦📤

It starts in the orange: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA8F9sIhGdg

It fights for what’s right: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W7GSc2gVhk

It Loves eternal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_nQd7Z8WEw

It smells like vanilla, citrus, papaya, mixed with dragon melon, burning free spirits.

It tastes like green and orange tea mixed together.

And it sounds like the loudest voice anyone has ever heard. But it’s a beautiful voice that you’re gonna love — I swear ;)

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

I’ll get back to the real story though when I have eaten 🫡

TBC on my instagram I guess, evidently

But I’ll also teach you new things here if you wanna know, but no one is forcing you now… just let her bee🐝, or put him to work☕️, because they🌈 are too lazy for…

I forget. But that’s what I can do and undue when the boss 🦄🫡 says… uhhhhhh…

“Make it so” 😘✨

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