When your friends stop dreaming

I have a friend who I cried for recently. She didn’t have a death in the family or anything, but she has buried her dreams and I’m mourning her loss. I am certain that they can be resurrected, but only by her. This frustrates me a bit, because I feel useless.

For some reason people have always asked me for advice. I remember being in 6th grade, firmly in my second year going to school with boys, I had come from an all-girls school the year before.

A girl in my class called my house phone and she asked me for some advice to handle a boyfriend problem. I was still getting over the fact that people my age actually had boyfriends, but I gave her the best advice I could and she was pleased. Since that time in 6th grade, I’ve been asked for advice on everything from parent problems to career advice and by the grace of God usually it lands firmly and steadily, once given.

But recently I cried, because I realized that my advice would not work this time. My advice is for my friend’s dreams, and that advice is useless to her because she has let them die. It wasn’t a sudden death, insecurity and dejection have taken the life from her dreams, slowly over time.

And now we are here. So, I cried.

What should we do? What do we do when people we care about have given up, when you know that they are powerful beyond measure, but they don’t have the energy to try anymore?

I don’t know.

At best, perhaps we can just ensure that we keep giving life to our own dreams, reserve our judgment, remain encouraging and maybe that will help them revive their own.