entä jos

entä jos kirjoittaisin

entä jos kirjoittaisin janne saarikivestä

entä jos kirjoittaisin vastineen janne saarikiven kirjoituksiin

entä jos liittyisin siihen kirjallisuuden suuntaukseen joka kirjoittaa vastineita janne saarikiven kirjoituksiin

se on tärkeä koulukunta

entä jos avaisin oven

jonka takaa alkaa liukumäki

jonka alapäässä on meri pieniä janne saarikiviä

entä jos liukuisin siitä ja uisin siinä meressä

entä jos janne saarikivi olisi ollut hiljaa ja minä voisin kirjoittaa jostain muusta

ja muutkin voisivat kirjoittaa jostain muusta

ehkä joku muu sitten olisi kirjoittanut niistä asioista joista janne saarikivi yrittää kirjoittaa

ja me kirjoittaisimme vastineita heille

ja me kävisimme diskurssia

entä jos kirjoittaisin siitä miten janne saarikivi vuoden alussa kirjoitti imagessa siitä miten sukupuoli on lihallinen totuus vaikka feministit väittäisivät mitä, koska jo muinaiset luolamiehet jne…


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Composing grant applications is something a professional artist has to do on a regular basis. However, i have come across only few public considerations on the best ways to go about it. I have whipped together quite a few applications myself and learned a thing or two that i’d like to share.

My context is Finland and i work across several disciplines, most notably media and sound art. …


who did you think you were when you realised you weren’t who you thought you were

my red finger nail

i painted my nails red because our car broke and we had to sell it for scrap and my mom emptied it from our stuff and there was a bottle of nail polish i hadnt used for years. it was really red. i looked at my nail i was up late because i couldnt sleep because i was thinking about work and i was excited about this work. …


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writing my press release at Tate Modern with Joan Jonas

am at tate modern looking at the joan jonas show its v full of works kind of overwhelming bc lots of open sound. that’s kind of hard for me nowadays. can handle one but several overlapping pieces no.

its my first time here i like the building its v impressive on the outside. and in. i came here to write the press release for my own show , i couldn’t finish that in time before this trip so decided to do it on my phone in a museum like i did the application for the exhibition a year ago. …


constitutive violence and growing up queer in the countryside

First published as a Swedish translation in Ikaros tidskrift 3/2017

Cotent notion: slurs, violence, sexual violence

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They had violence to dispose of and they disposed it on me. “Hey faggot, are you a faggot because you sit like a faggot. Do you get anal pleasure from sitting like that?”, they asked and I wasn’t sure how I was sitting but I made sure not to sit like that again. We were teenagers.

“I’ll fix your acne for good faggot”, they said. One was holding me down while another was scrubbing my face with a metal brush and spit. Being pushed around and spat on in a circle of boys was so commonplace I didn’t keep count. …


I have absolutely no idea how it should be done properly and what are the intentions behind it, but i do have 33,5 years of first hand experience. …


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image from the facebook page Unofficial Marc Zuccerberg, Human

i’ve had my times with social media. it can be fun and useful. networking with people from all around, having a contact with people you only met once. here are some of my impressions.

you tend to become enshrined in a bubble on social media. you choose who sees you and who you see. this is pushed further by algorithms no one seems to understand.

algorithms also curate what you see by people who you have decided to be connected to. this creates an artificial scarcity of content. i follow 668 accounts on instagram. if i update it after an hour of not looking, i get maybe three new posts. …


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Sports, body image, competition. I grew up not interested in sports. Not particularly anyway. I mostly sucked at physical education and was the smallest and weakest one in my scout group. They had to wait for me and carry some of my stuff on hikes.

I touch the rock, the rock touches me. I wrestle the rock, I wrestle gravity. I gamble with balance and friction. Nobody’s judging, nobody’s telling me how to do it. No referees, minimal equipment, no need for competition.

As a teenager I would go out bouldering on my own or with a friend or siblings. I didn’t know much about what I was doing and luckily I never hurt myself. Some of my friends and my brother were climbing in a more institutional manner, but somehow I didn’t feel like I could include myself in that setting. I never stepped on a indoor climbing wall before last fall. The thought was: if I don’t try to include myself, I can’t be excluded. …

Camille Auer

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