The poetry shoebox

Alex McClafferty
Nov 1 · 3 min read

I’ve found writing poetry as a far healthier energetic outlet than watching pornography, mindlessly trolling Twitter or looking at pictures on Instagram.

Here’s what will soon become an overflowing shoebox of ideas, reflections, and words I’ve strung together to express myself.

I very much expect to look back on this work and laugh in embarrassment.

I quietly (desperately?) hope I’ll also be proud of it, too.

Enjoy, please.

Welcome to my mind?

For Anna

I want you to see yourself the way I see you. Held in boundless compassion.

Cradle your deep wounds softly. It hurts, I know, but this season will pass.

You’ve been left bare, like a tree in a brutal winter.

You lost what you thought you needed to be whole.

You will regenerate. You will grow stronger.

As your bark cracks and your heartwood aches, lean on the Mother, she will hold the pain for you.

Root yourself deeply. Ask for her support in your darkest, coldest night.

It’s not a burden. It’s not a hand-off. It’s her role and she does it well.

Create space for self-compassion. Share your expression. There’s nothing outside of you that you can’t create for yourself.

Like the Mother, you’ll regenerate. The season will be long. It will test you. You will be rejuvenated and whole again.

You choose when and how.

Like an acorn ready to shoot a sapling through the earth. Seek that light and push through. It waits for you.

I fell off the bandwagon

Lethargy met with a foggy outlook.

A lack of progress.

Recursive thought patterns.

Dropping deeper and deeper into a spiral of negativity, shame, and guilt.

Grasping for grounding.

The answer was unexpected.

A cheeseburger.

Thanks, Britt.


Self-help

My brain
Scrambled like an omelet
Don’t want to eat trauma
Don’t want my brain to eat itself
Choose your adventure


Resignation

A layer of indifference,
Met with acceptance,
Waiting, watching, hoping.

Misunderstood. Broken. Cast-out.
Unable to connect, with but one connection point.
Mind your choices: you reap what you sow.


Drive through wisdom

The crushing construct that grinds everything to dust. The invisible opponent that stands unbeaten.

The father. The healer of all wounds. Subtle. Dense. Pervasive. Illusive.

Excuse me! Have you got the time?


Day off

A promise made
Betrayed.

Downtime
A lie.

Switch off
I scoff.

Action creates
Reaction.

How do others make it look so easy?


New you

When your focus is less ‘who am I?’ and more ‘how do I...?’
You’re in good shape.

If you’re feeling loved because,
Seek love with no because.

When forgiveness seems too far,
Know a future you will accept it all.


Gets worse before it gets better

Waking up
From a dream
I wish I knew
I was in.

Looking for a
Safe place to land.
A caring soul.
A helping hand.

Writhing,
Twisting,
Lurching,
Wretching.

The grimace
Relieves the pain.
Something held,
A crooked strain.

I fade to and fro,
The stranglehold
Thins.


Smile (to muse)

The things you think,
“Imperfect.”
Defne you.

What you’re trying to hide,
I see through.

Show me everything.

Nature will shine through.


You are a masterpiece (to muse)

To be many things,
And none.

Strong, yet feminine.
Small and masculine.

You’re shattered.
Broken to pieces.

Yet, you radiate.
A brilliant mosaic.

A kaleidoscope of experience.

Sorrow.
Pain.
Joy.
Love.
Anger.
Deceit.

A distorted wavelength.

We look outside for beauty and love.
It lies within, layers deep and undiscovered.

Hidden gold.
Malformed diamonds.

Know this:
You are a masterpiece.


Deep on the line (to Grandmother Sarah)

A forgotten line,
An energetic block,
Should be examined,
Lest it be forgot.

Unspeakable sacrifice,
Ancestral pain,
There is a choice,
To honor or abstain.

I work with a teacher and spiritual guide,
A protector who shepherds and stands by my side,
A sweet-toothed woman with a razor-sharp edge,
A person I trust while I hang over the ledge.

Sarah helps me look into the abyss,
One filled with demons and shadows and serpents that hiss,
She helped me reconnect my family tree,
And start to embrace all aspects of me.

Alex McClafferty

Written by

I got flicked like a mosquito by the Universe. I’m mustering the courage to go back for more.

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