Chin up, Love!

Dear person that fights for equality, justice and truth,

I know you’ve suffered things. I know you’ve been victimised, traumatised and ostracised. It’s such a shame *tuts and shakes head sadly* I want you to know, I am here for you.

But…

Here’s my opinion. You need to love yourself enough to move on, and please do it soon, because when you do- I will no longer need to feel uncomfortable with your truth. It’s not that I don’t want to listen to you, and I’m not an abuser sympathiser- I’m on your side- but I will attempt to silence you if you talk too long or too loud about how you feel, because obviously, I’m trying to help you to heal. You need to be true to yourself, but you must start realising there’s no divide and that we are all one really.

Here’s some more advice: Just leave the past in the past. Everyone has problems you know. Most people are victims at some point. Why don’t you live in the now? Forgive and forget! It wasn’t their fault they abused you, their lives were hard, surely you can understand that? Oh, I know it’s not really your fault either, but you’re the one that won’t let it go. You’re the one that keeps talking about it. Why do you feel the need to protest and campaign and rally and attempt to change other people? Can’t you just let people live their lives? Things are fine as they are! Political correctness has gone mad, if you ask me. Have you thought about therapy? If you choose therapy, someone else can be paid to hear all the things I don’t think I should be hearing (and you should know, none of us want to hear it. It’s too personal, it’s not that we don’t want to listen, we hear you! we just don’t want to take sides, that’s all. You should probably not share your thoughts on social media either).

What’s that? your therapist reckons you should talk about it amongst your family and friends and that activism will raise awareness? I don’t agree with them. Find a different counsellor, they shouldn’t be encouraging you to bring these past hurts to the surface. I mean, really, I am giving you these words of wisdom for free! I’m not some kind of charlatan, taking advantage of weak people like you that can’t think straight. And besides, that’s surely not the way it was, do you think that maybe you’re being too sensitive? Maybe you’re focusing too heavily on it, perhaps your memory of it is skewed. You should really just try to remember the nice things that happened, I’m sure it could’ve been worse. There’s always someone worse off than you. It’s a waste of time trying to change things politically, we’ve gone all this time with things working just fine for the majority, what’s the problem? It doesn’t bother me, so I don’t know why you need to make it an issue. You’re just being aggressive when there’s no need. Finding fault when everyone else is managing just fine. I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but I wonder if you’re taking things out of context. I mean, you are being overly dramatic. Do you enjoy a drink? Now see, everyone knows that having too much of a good time leads to trouble. What did you expect? Maybe if you hadn’t reacted the way you did, things wouldn’t feel so bad for you now. Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. Listen, the courts are there to determine if someone is guilty. I can’t just decide that they are, and neither should you! You don’t have those rights. Why do you even insist on talking about issues that can’t possibly effect you now? Have you considered how bad their lives will be if you talk about it openly? That’s not really fair on them, is it? Have you thought about their partner or children? How do you think this will make them feel? Airing your dirty linen for all to see is crass and frankly, just makes you look bad. What if it affects their career? You are obviously not a good person if you think it’s OK to ruin someone’s life, just so you can talk about yours. They’re probably just trying to move on, like you should. Don’t embarrass or shame them, that’s not going to help you at all.

Oh… you feel like you’ve carried shame? well you shouldn’t, you should feel like a stronger person as a result of this abusive situation, remember- you only attract these things to teach you serious life lessons! You obviously needed that experience, don’t be so feeble! Embrace it and MOVE ON. Of course I’m here to support you! If you listen to me, you’ll be fine. You just need to stop wallowing in the past. Don’t speak. Don’t feel. Don’t entertain flashbacks. Don’t do anything that will rock the boat for everyone else around you. Don’t mess with the status quo.

I am here for you.

As long as you shut the fuck up.

I am here for you.

Love from every hypocritical asshole that calls themselves compassionate and non-judgemental.