Somehow I miss talking to you.
That’s the first thing that came up in my mind when I finished reading this article. I tried to remember the you I was talking to that night and I am sure there was no hint of hatred. I can tell from the way you speak and from the way you write that you really are a good person. Now, it is quite sad to learn that this is something you would hate about yourself. Don’t?
It is indeed sad that we can be our own worst enemy sometimes. That is why, be kind — not to others. Well be nice to them too, but before everyone else, be kind to yourself.
As for that incident. Whatever it is, you probably did not deserve. I don’t believe there is such a thing as ‘deserving’ bad things happening to you or ‘bad karma’. Sometimes things happen, wrong time, wrong place, wrong people. Or maybe nothing is wrong but it just. happens. which by. no means. justify whatever had happened.
I’m glad you’re not going back to that path wanting to hurt others just because they hurt you. Youre better than this? It’s okay to feel bitter though, sometimes, we need some bitterness creeping up our hearts and feel miserable to rise again. I finished a book today, and I’m gonna leave this quote here for you.
“People are shitty for a lot of reasons. Sometimes they’re just shitty people. (I laughed here.) Sometimes people have been shitty to them (that’s you maybe) and, even though they don’t realize it, they take that shitty upbringing and go out into the world and treat others the same way (alright, that’s not so much you). Sometimes they are shitty because they’re afraid. Sometimes they choose to be shitty to others before others can be shitty to them. So it’s like self-defensive shittiness.” (And maybe there are many more reasons, you choose.)
Maybe things will clear up in the end.