Never have I ever…in London — the Parliament Hill Lido
I’ll be leaving London soon, so for the last couple of months, I’ve been playing a sort of altered version of “never have I ever” – that is, choosing things I’ve never done in London and trying to do them before I leave. When the weather was nice at the end of May, it was Kew Gardens one weekend, and a picnic at Alexandra Palace on another. Most recently (Sunday), it was swimming at the Parliament Hill Lido.
It’s one of those quintessential London summer experiences that I’ve always meant to get round to. I’d go past it on walks on Parliament Hill and think how much fun it looked – all those people in holiday mode, laughing, splashing about, enjoying the weather. But somehow, in twelve years of living in or near London, I never did get round to it.
Now that I’ve finally done it, I have learned the following:
- A swimming pool is a swimming pool is a swimming pool. I think I’d built up the idea of the lido to be a lot more idyllic than it actually was. There are, however, universal truths that still apply. There will always be dozens of screaming children. There will always be idiot teenagers doing cannonballs. There will always be big, blustering blokes doing very splashy front crawl, waiting to run you over.
- I am hopelessly out of shape. I used to swim quite regularly when there was a pool at my local gym, but now that that’s gone, I haven’t had the opportunity. As a result, I could barely finish a length without having to stop and rest. I do take comfort in the fact that it’s more than 60m long, though.
I managed about ten lengths in the end, which works out a rate of 66p per length (an adult ticket costs £6.60 during the day. It’s £3.50 in the morning or evening) plus a bit of sitting around, drying off.
I did enjoy it, but I think that has more to do with the fact I like swimming in general than the experience. I felt uneasy the whole time as I was on my own and there was nowhere safe to store my belongings, which meant constantly getting out to go and check everything was still there (it was, but still). There were also no doors on any of the changing cubicles, which made me wonder why they bother having them. A cubicle without a door is a bit redundant, no?
In the end, I gave up early as my only choices were the “serious swimming” section and the splashing about section – nothing in between. Also, it was just a little bit chilly and I am, I’m fairly sure, part lizard. (As an aside, though, it was most definitely not chilly enough for wetsuits – some of the Serious Swimmers were wearing them. No idea why.)
If nothing else, however, I got some exercise and I also remembered just how much I love swimming. The best thing, I think, will be to find a pool that’s a little more off the beaten path and try that before I flee to the north come the autumn.
