A Woman’s Guilt and Shame
Finding Healing Through Solo Silent Retreats
In 2018, my body sent me signals that I couldn’t ignore. I felt the conviction to travel alone, a solo trip, a journey to rediscover myself and, intentionally practice trusting myself in a new way. However, as a wife, a mother, and a business owner, the guilt and shame of leaving behind my loved ones and responsibilities weighed heavily on me.
Despite these emotions, I knew it was imperative to prioritize my well-being. So, I embarked on my first solo retreat to the Dominican Republic. My second solo [silent] retreat lead me to Costa Rica, each journey would prove to be life-altering. In hindsight, I see it was preparation for empowerment through travel. I LOVE wins+wins! Today, I have the awareness and ability to operate like an agile frequency, or like sound waves or light rays. I’m grateful to be positioned to manage myself well during times such as these. I’m grateful God sees me, loves me, and has my best interest at heart, always. It is written, He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us.
I cried in the Volcano’s Hot Springs, not just for myself but also for my mother and grandmother. They, too, had never felt they had permission to leave and tend to their emotional wounds.
During my solo retreats, I consecutively experienced three key benefits that forever changed my perspective on self-care and self-discovery:
1. Self-Rediscovery:
Traveling solo allowed me to reconnect with myself in a way I had never experienced before. It provided me with the time and space to reflect on my own desires, thought systems, dreams, and needs, separate from the roles and responsibilities that often define us. I discovered a newfound sense of independence and self-reliance, proving to myself that I could, indeed, trust myself to take the next best step.
2. Emotional Healing:
On my second solo retreat, about a year later, I made a heartfelt prayer for God to be present in the everyday aspects of my life. It was during this retreat that I had a profound realization: I cried in the Volcano’s Hot Springs, not just for myself but also for my mother and grandmother. They, too, had never felt they had permission to leave and tend to their emotional wounds. Through silence and introspection, I began the healing process, acknowledging and addressing the emotional generational patterns that had been passed down.
3. Prioritizing Self-Love:
These solo silent retreats allowed me to prioritize self-love and self-care in a way I had never done before. I learned that by nurturing my own well-being, I could become and be a better wife, mother, and business owner. It was a reminder that taking time for oneself is not selfish but essential for personal growth and overall happiness.
In conclusion, my solo silent retreats were transformative experiences that helped me overcome emotional wounds such as guilt and shame, and they provided me with three invaluable benefits: self-rediscovery, emotional healing, and the ability to prioritize self-love. I am forever grateful for my supportive husband, who encouraged and enabled me to embark on these adventurous journeys of self-discovery.
With Love, Christina✨
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It didn’t start with you by Mark Wolynn
The energy codes by Dr. Sue Morter
The dream giver by Bruce Wilkinson
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