Extremely Good Shit of February 2016
Hello, friends. I am continuing in my quest to bring you the best Shit the internet has to offer. While February is the shortest month of the year, it certainly did not lack for Extremely Good Shit. February is the month of the first presidential primaries, the Academy Awards, and the Superb Owl, and the web is correspondingly overflowing with fresh hot takes. Let’s Shit the ground running, shall we?
Queen of my heart Caity Weaver (of Paula Deen cruise and The Best Restaurant in New York fame) interviewed Justin Bieber for GQ and the results were spectacular. Weaver writes like a jester in service in the court of King Bieber, who apparently doesn’t text, can’t comprehend irony, and lives permanently in a hotel suite. Weaver spends days with the once and future king, but never quite cracks him, and their failures of communication are delicious and hysterical.
Can you tell me anything about the day you were born? “March 1.”
Sister duo Vanjess covered “Work,” paring it down to simple keyboard chords and cascading harmonies. The cover is a lush ballad take on the single, and Drake’s verse is transformed into smooth R&B. Unlike certain melanin-challenged covers of this song, the original patois of the hook doesn’t get lost in translation.
Speaking of Caucasian “Work” covers: Black Twitter got fed up with them, and responded with #TrapCovers. There aren’t enough Grammys in the world to adequately reward this.
In case you’re either over 65 or you’re under 12 and have very responsible/lame parents, here’s the big news: Deadpool came out this month. I’m total Marvel trash and I’ll adore anything their studios put out, but Deadpool was something special. It was refreshing to see a superhero who was aware of other superheroes (because, really, the Avengers just conveniently forget about the others’ existence during their solo movies). It was refreshing to see some movie star peen in a major blockbuster. It was not only refreshing but downright novel to see a pansexual male action hero and his non-stigmatized sex worker girlfriend have an extremely healthy and supportive relationship. It was almost unheard of for an action movie to have a host of main female characters including a teenager who were never unnecessarily sexualized or objectified. Deadpool felt like a glimpse at what superhero movies look like sans bullshit.
But I want to warn America: do not treat Deadpool like you treated Minions. I’m already seeing slogan tees and snarky magnets with his masked face pop up in places like Five Below and Spencer’s Gifts. Do not do this. It took Ryan Reynolds ten years to get Deadpool made; we cannot repay his efforts by letting him become a Facebook Wine Mom meme.
Beyoncé dropped the fantastic and defiant “Formation” — you’ve already heard that. SNL aired a skit about white people discovering in horror that Beyoncé is black — you’ve already seen that. What you haven’t heard is the New York Times Popcast episode about Beyoncé’s and Rihanna’s release strategies featuring Jenna Wortham, who is on her A-game. Wortham is hysterical and fabulous, and I really hope she creates her own podcast so I can write a fawning, unnecessary thinkpiece about it.
The most qualified, inspiring, and well-respected future leader of the free world met Hillary Clinton.
The Oscars happened, and they were #SoWhite. Luckily, Dumbuzzfeed, one of my favorite websites (and for which I’ve written a couple of articles) posted a handy guide for discerning if a movie is #SoWhite or just #White.
On a related note, the glorious Caity Weaver makes appearance #2 on this list for writing a handy guide to casting a movie about white people, if one were to follow the #SoWhite Gods of Egypt rules of casting.
Charli XCX launched a new label, Vroom Vroom Recordings, and dropped her corresponding Vroom Vroom EP created with British producer SOPHIE. The four-song EP definitely feels like a classic SOPHIE Frankenpop monster: the title track is a glorious clanging racket devoid of any organic instruments. Charli XCX shows off her vocal versatility, switching deftly between bratty rap verses and angelic hooks. She described the new project as “my new, experimental pop label and it will combine my love for bubblegum pop with mystery and darkness.” While the album doesn’t feel dark per se (“Trophy” is just a weirder version of Gwen Stefani’s already-weird “Wind It Up” and “Paradise” is features chipmunked vocals) it’s still a welcome departure for Charli. Her debut album True Romance had tinges of 90’s grunge, and sophomore effort Sucker was an 80’s glam rock extravaganza; the Vroom Vroom EP shows that Charli can tackle the future as well.
Chris Stout-Hazard, who previously ranked (and absolutely demolished) the presidential candidates’ logos, turned his eye to the NFL team logos. Apparently, things marketed towards straight men often suffer from terrible aesthetics. Who knew? (We did. We all knew.)
All five members of pop girl group Fifth Harmony are finally eighteen, and they are ready to show it with new single “Work from Home.” The song’s bouncing rhythm and handclap chorus are supported by their most adult lyrics to date: “we don’t need nobody / I just need your body / nothing but sheets in between us / ain’t no getting off early.” The lyrics are wild, but I’m mostly excited that these young ladies are learning about concepts like timesheets and night shifts — welcome to adulthood! Maybe the next single will be an ode to figuring out health insurance or paying the electricity bill.
Jason Derulo, he who rides solo, talks dirty, and gets ugly, debuted a new invention via Snapchat that will revolutionize the haircut/fashion game:
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