No Stereotypes Please
I care that there are so few women in IT. I want there to be more of us, and I know there could be.
But as soon as we talk about “women in tech”, the stereotypes creep in. “Of course,” I hear myself say, “this is a generalisation, but…” And then I make a sweeping statement about men or women.
For instance: I was trying to work out why I didn’t enjoy a recent bot tournament (teams compete to make software bots which play games against each other). I suggested it was because women don’t enjoy competition as much as men.
This may be true, I have no idea. I do know that competition is particularly daunting for those who are less confident, and I know that women tend on average to be less confident than men. But many men have the same problem. Many of them, too, find competitive environments to be intimidating and counter-productive.
I can live on a knife edge where competition is concerned: it can spur me on to great things or make me fall apart. In fact I am ridiculously competitive — ask anyone who’s watched me play Scrabble with Ally Fogg (we’ll fight to the death to get that triple word score). Competitiveness is one of many attributes which arguably makes me appear more male than female.
And there it is. With all this talk of Women In Technology, I’m suddenly interpreting everything I think and do in terms of my gender. I recall processes more readily than facts - it’s because I’m a woman! I enjoy watching soap operas and reading novels about emotions… because I’m a woman! I’m hopeless at general knowledge and pub quizzes. Must be because… you get the idea.
But I’m also crap at multitasking, don’t enjoy being a stay-at-home mum, am good at DIY, am anal about small details, am a whizz at maths and analytical thinking, can focus on one thing to the exclusion of all others… and have many other traits that are stereotypically male. So obviously this is because I’m freakishly unwomanly, or there was too much testosterone in the womb when I was a baby… or I am the exception that proves the rule… or… um… Yeah. Right.
It’s not helpful. None of it.
I was interviewed because I’m speaking at the “Women of Silicon Roundabout” conference in London in January*, and I was asked the question, “How can we encourage women to stay in technology?” It’s an important question. It needs answering. But it’s hard to think about it without falling into generalisations about what women like; what women want; what makes women tick. But I often don’t care about the things women are supposed to care about. And I know I’m not alone.
The problem is twofold: Firstly, there is a horrible — and very unscientific — tendency to extrapolate from the particular to the general. “I don’t like this, and I am a woman, therefore all women will have a problem with this.” Secondly, trends are identified where they don’t even exist. If somebody tells you that the number 23 is everywhere, you’ll start seeing it everywhere. If somebody suggests that all women prefer collaboration to confrontation, you’ll seize all examples which confirm this theory and ignore all evidence to the contrary (what, like women never get into arguments? Huh???).
What we need is gender equality. That’s where everyone can be anything. Men can hug each other and swap skin care tips. Women can ride motorbikes, swear and put shelves up.
I’ve never had much truck with the idea that, for instance, boardrooms would benefit from a better gender balance because women are less confrontational. We need more women leaders because women are nice and soft and will stop people from killing each other. Really? You sure about that?
Yes, I’m one of the people at work who’s likely to notice when somebody’s suffering, and check they’re all right. This may be because, as a woman, I’ve been encouraged to pay attention to the welfare of others. It’s good to have people like that in a team. But that’s not why I want more women in IT. I’d rather we all took responsibility for growing those skills (which are there anyway) in men. Whilst teaching the women how to code.
We need women to have all the opportunities that men have and vice versa, because it’s not fair if they don’t. We need more men to work in nursing and childcare, because humanity benefits when everyone can occupy a caring role. We need all of us to have every chance to become more rounded human beings. This means that we can all try our hands at everything and choose what we like best, no matter what we may or may not have dangling between our legs.
My bottom line is that I have a lot in common with my colleagues because we are all geeks, and this overrides any gender-based difference. I can state for a fact that most of my colleagues do not menstruate, and even more of them have not given birth (which obviously includes a large chunk of the women). As for any other concrete differences? Meh.
I complained to my colleague (@dmportella) that it wasn’t fair, because when I had the Worst Day Ever at work I had to go to the toilet to hide the fact that I was crying. Then I had to wait for ages for the Face Blotch to subside before I could return to my desk.
His response? Men cry too.
He had a point.
(I’ve written a follow-up to this post here).
* Blatant plug, I know. But I will be talking about some of this stuff there. So, you know. Come along and join in.
