Don’t fat shame MY RB

By P.C. Trill (@trillconian)

Takes are free. Always unwarranted. Any comments, questions, or concerns, @ me or cash me online.

We’ve reached a new all time low for the No Fun League (NFL). The Seattle Seahawks new RB, Eddie Lacy, was given an incentive to be 255 lbs by yesterday afternoon, or he wouldn’t receive a $55,000 bonus. Folks, its 2017 and we as a society are supposed to accept people of all shapes and size. The median income for a household in the U.S. is less than his bonus. If ‘football is family, how are we going to sit back and allow Seattle to get away with offering my families salary as a skinny bonus? The Seattle Seahawks should be penalized for this heinous act of fat shaming.

Now sure, you could sit there in your lazy boy, reading this on your tablet, while polishing off a bag of lays chips with French onion dip, finding yourself in the 69% of obese adults, thinking, “man, he’s a pro athlete, why couldn’t he be in better shape?” I’d tell you to not throw stones from your lazy boy in your glass house because clearly, Lacy is RB ready and thinking football if he’s at the facility in the offseason for a simple weigh in. Even after a few off-season bowls at the French Quarter, Lacy will be able to strap the pads on and get gritty. He’s quite frankly a specimen if he’s able to stay in shape while eating that Louisianan treat, gumbo,with rice. It ain’t easy. Just ask Louisana’s most famous weight loss and football coach, Coach Orgeron.

If you think just because he’s “chubby” and adding an extra X to his shirt size that Lacy is stupid, lazy, or lacking self control, you are dead wrong. He was the only person that knew what Aaron Rodgers spelled out back in 2014. He had a garage sale that SOLD OUT. That requires some genius. I’ve had countless yard sales and probably only sold 5 items total. Seattle Seahawks keep your fat shaming out of your NFL contracts, you’re going to lose the majority of your fanbase.

This concept was tried at small university in southern Pennsylvania called Lincoln University.

Students were forced to lose weight in order to earn their degree. These weight requirements were deemed ‘intrusive’ and ‘paternalistic.’ The university was forced to stop this practice because it should be an individuals CHOICE to lose weight.

You don’t say? You can’t just let all the skinny bitches in bikinis graduate? Who wants a skinny NFL anyway? In an all inclusive league, there shouldn’t be any discrimination based on weight.

I’m really tired of people bullying, discriminating, or making fun of people with weight issues. Incentivizing on weight loss is discriminatory. Incentivizing a contract on weight loss over 7 times, is down right criminal and we should penalize the Seahawks, by downsizing Centurylink Field 1/12 to even out the playing field.

Don’t underestimate humans that are over weight, readers. Look at Dick Cheney. Do you think you can be stupid being the Vice President of the United States? No. You might mistake another human -Harry Whittington- as quail, but you are definitely fit for office. Or how about Sir Charles Barkley? He is one of the top 20 NBA talents, a star on TNT, and has the hottest and most honest takes in broadcasting. do you think that Barkley would hold all of these accolades if his weight effected him? No. And Eddie’s weight won’t effect his football IQ nor his performance.

In fact I’d say from a science perspective, you’d want Lacy to be heavier. Those north-south runners are always the most successful. A heavier weight, traveling down hill, will have more momentum running into those normal sized guys on the line. So I say throw an extra burger and shake every day, on top of the gumbo. That meal plan will help him bowl through those big lines.

How many off the field social issues are the NFL going to attempt to tackle and miss on anyway? Don’t you dare fat shame MY RB. Word to the wise Rog, best to pass on this one since you’ve taken so many Ls recently, and I don’t mean the funny green ones.

P.C. Trill sober(ish) and out.