6 Must-Do’s for a Successful Personal Transformation

Claudia Emili
Sep 1, 2018 · 4 min read

A caterpillar doesn’t morph into a butterfly by random chance, nor does a personal transformation randomly occur. Instead, both scenarios happen through a defined process over a certain period of time.

When I started to realize that the life I was living was not fulfilling anymore, I tried many different things which can often be confusing and stressful and actually demotivating if you simply can’t see proof of anything changing all. At this point actually, a lot of people give up.

Although it can feel daunting to think about becoming someone that you’re currently not or learning something new that seems impossible at this moment, transformations are essential for continued success and growth and I argue also for happiness and fulfillment.

Much like how the caterpillar must undergo several steps in its metamorphosis, the process of becoming a better version of ourselves in life occurs in steps.

1. Find your “why?”

Only YOU can know why you want to change, what is driving you, what is your deepest desire. Understanding this is most important and will be a necessary reminder when things get tough. When working with my clients I encourage them to dig deep to really get to the core of what it is that seeks expression through them. Once connected with this deep underlying desire, taking aligned actions is much easier because we are fuelled by what’s uplifting our heart, spirit and mind.

2. Understand and honor your values

Even when we embark on a journey to become a new and better version of ourselves our core values don’t tend to change significantly. Our core values are like the framework that holds our change and transformation process. If we don’t understand our core values and honor them during the process we might become a successful new person but we will not be happy because in the process we lost parts of ourselves that are crucial and necessary for us to feel joyful and authentic.

3. Get guidance

When I started my personal transformation coaching wasn’t really a thing. People who had issues went into therapy. People who wanted to progress in a certain area got themselves mentors. All I wanted was somebody who helped me understand myself better and who would hold space for me while I was going into my own cocoon transforming myself. I also wanted somebody who would hold me accountable towards the promises I gave myself and who would help me not get lost in the process. Getting guidance from people who know what this process is all about, who know about the challenges and sometimes dark moments such a transformation can bring with it, is important to have.

4. Get comfortable with being vulnerable

The first two decades of my life I was depressed and anxious. If anyone would have told me that I would eventually lead the life that I am living now, feeling free, happy and fulfilled, I would have called them insane. I also learned over time that courage is not the absence of fear but being afraid and doing it anyway. And just recently I reframed my understanding of failure. Now failure for me means not trying. That’s it. If you are trying something new, no matter how much you might mess up, it is not failing it is learning. We all know the phrase “true magic happens outside of your comfort zone” and its true. In fact, if something scares you it is a sure sign you are onto something big. There is also no such thing as looking like a fool. There is only a fool being too proud and scared to try and as a result, missing out on all the great adventures life has to offer.

5. Trust YOUR process

We all listen to other people’s inspiring stories of transformation and that’s great. However, we all write our own stories and comparing is truly contra-productive. Personal transformation happens through a process that can’t be rushed. In the beginning, there is a lot of uncertainty, in the middle it can be messy and things might not be moving in the direction or speed that you want them to. And thats okay. Its often only at the end where the journey becomes more clear. There is no such thing as a quick fix. Personal transformation takes time and it requires patience, consistency, dedication and commitment. And if things get tough always remember why you embarked on this journey in the first place. Because of you. Because you chose you and your dreams and your desires. And you are worth it all!

6. Repeat

This last step is equally as important as the other 5 steps. In an ever-changing environment, it is important to stay flexible. Make it a regular habit of checking in with yourself; am I still happy? Is what I wanted 5 years ago still what I want today? And if not, it is possibly time again to ask yourself “why?” am I not happy and what is it now, that wants to be given birth to and how do I need to change to make this become a reality. One thing I can guarantee you is, changing and transforming gets easier with time, the more you do it. It truly does. And one day who knows, you might eventually find joy in reinventing yourself every now and then again.

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