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Walking down the street. Is that a penny? You pick it up. No, it’s too bright for that, too… yellow. To your right, an appraisal shop. 24 karat gold? Amazing! You look closer. An engraving. It piques your interest.. some ancient, forgotten tongue.. you mouth it out — fus .. ro .. dah. Clinking noises. Behind you — more gold pennies, falling from the ceiling! You scoop them all up with your shirt. This must be worth thousands! They keep falling. You go outside. Yet they still fall, always, wherever you go, five feet behind you, gold coins, never-ending gold coins.

Life is different, now. You must sleep by a pit lest the coins piling up would suffocate you. Restaurants ban you for you are too disturbing to the patrons. No more invitations to parties. An environmental hazard, the EPA calls you, polluting everywhere you go with these interminable gold coins. All social contact ceases. No family, no friends, not even acquaintances. Strangers grab your coins then run away. But your eyes have a permanent gleam in them now, your life fulfilled, because you — are — rich beyond your wildest dreams!

Acura. The True Definition of Luxury. Yours.

(Inspired by Welcome to Night Vale: ).

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