Personal Coaching — What it is And a New Twist

Christopher Lembke
Sep 12 · 5 min read
Photo by Jordan Rowland on Unsplash

We have to focus on what we love

As a consultancy and as personal coaches, we are committed to doing what we love. We preach to our clients, “You mustn’t follow the money, follow your passion and true love and the money will follow”. The idea is not a new one, but no one follow the old adages, “Love what you do and you’ll never work another day in your life!”, “Focus on what you love and you will be forever rich”, etc. We all tend to get so wrapped up in our fears of not being able to provide for ourselves and our families that we forget to have fun and what really matters in life. Shouldn’t we be far up enough on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs by now that our physical needs are no longer a concern?

The challenge I find is that people have invented a need slotting into the Psychological steps called “stuff”. Only when we have enough stuff can we progress to Self-actualisation, which is where all the fun is and where you realise that all the fears we had in the other steps were all illusions and mere barriers to progress. Of course the big challenge is that “stuff” isn’t an actual need, so we don’t have a barrier to say “I now have enough stuff”, there is always the next thing to buy. When we have roof over our heads, food on our table, we feel safe in our streets and we are established in our communities, we know because we feel it within ourselves; we feel good. However, money and stuff leaves an open-ended flow, doesn’t it? We never feel content when we focus on “getting rich”. There is always the next million to be made. It is only when the person who is focused on material wealth as a success gauge starts to reflect on their own existence that they will start to shift their focus.

Transformative coaching is all about shifting focus. It all starts with a question a client asks themselves. The question will vary from person to person, but it is the profoundness of it that shakes the foundation of their very existence and allows them to, for but a moment, shift their mind to a new state of being. That state remains with them as an illusive goal that they must attain yet again. They’ve experienced being with their own truth in the moment, that really is it, it is that simple. When you connect with your truth and your inner core you never forget it and you start your journey towards self-actualisation. You can find a list of questions that can help you dig deeper and start shifting your focus, by clicking here.

When you start asking yourself these questions, you inevitably end up questioning your entire existence up until that point. It is the personal coach’s job to help the client work through these challenging times. One question leads to another ten! In that work we realise that all too often fear has been the captain of our ship steering it aground far too many times. We gain fear as we grow up and it will come from our religions, our communities, our cultures, our political leanings, etc. When we shed this fears we of course question the validity of the source of the fear, which leads to shedding of the illusions of our identities. That process can be very traumatic as you realise your entire life has been built on illusions, or as you probably see it to begin with; lies.

It is when we ‘wake up’ that the real work begins and it is a path one commits to. Though, once Pandora’s box is open, you cannot, nor will you want to, shove it all back in again and close the lid, it will eat you up and destroy you if you ignore what you have learned. Your journey will now become about transcending your traumas, your challenges and your negative feelings about your past.

As you can see personal coaching has many different levels to it and can take quite a while. The personal coach is a guide for the client. The client has to do all the work with gentle, or sometimes very blunt, prodding and nudging from the coach. We help the client get back on track when they find themselves in the doldrums. We also equip the client with tools to deal with the process, such as; mindfulness techniques, nutrition and dietary changes, exercise regimes, etc. Many times clients are very upset about their past and the illusions they have been fed, so the coach is a sympathetic ear and helps moderate the reactions the client experiences. One very important service the coach provides is to pick up on clues and indications when a health professional is needed. The personal coach will then use the trust they’ve built up with the client to steer him/her that way, which can be a very difficult realisation for a client at the best of times.

With this very concise insight into our work, I hope you understand what is so very rewarding with what we do. As a matter of fact, I sat down the other day and looked at our consulting and personal coaching business and asked myself what specifically it is we love about what we do. The answer that became apparent was that we love helping people and see them flourish in their newfound truth. Hence, on the back of this concrete answer I thought to myself “If we tell our clients to focus on what they love and not to worry about the money, shouldn’t we lead by example?”. Well, of course we should, which is why we have turned the tables on our personal coaching services. Our clients now decided how much they can and want to pay, if anything at all. Many times our clients have hit on hard times when they end up at our virtual doorstep and don’t have the means to afford our services, yet we want to help them. Instead of an invoice they will get a statement of how much time we have spent on personal coaching them and if they cannot pay us anything we ask them to pay it forward and spend the same amount of time working actively and directly with charities that matter to them.

What goes around comes around, right?

Originally published at The Alchemy Experience.

Christopher Lembke

Written by

I am an avid, if not frequent, blogger on the topics of healing, philosophy, spirituality, mindfulness and how they might relate to business and ourselves.

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